Wed, 18 Jun 2008 05:00:00 +0000 A blob of rotting flesh writes passive-aggressive letters to his roommate Jerry waxing poetic on the undeniable beauty and cultural importance of anime. en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png 144 42 livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/no-us-anime.php The growing conflict between me and Jerry comes to a head as I take a stand for myself and for my anime. Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/no-us-anime.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-animorphosis.php It hurts so bad right now, Jerry. I can feel my face rebuilding itself. My eyes are growing larger, finally able to see the world for what it is. And my chin, Jerry, which you once described as "a hairy scrotum full of ranch dressing and marbles," is now a sharp point. Like a blade. Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-animorphosis.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-hospital.php To be completely honest, Jerry, I was hoping that this medical crisis would spark the fires of reconciliation between us. What better to unite two ideological rivals than something as raw and sobering as a medical crisis? In the words of Legato from Trigun, "The greater the tragedy, the greater the emotional effect." Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-hospital.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-love.php Why, Jerry, did you have to take pictures of my sweatpants and email them to my girlfriend? I told you that there would be intermittent bleeding while I recover and that there would be a viscous discharge as my inner thighs scab over. I also explained that because of the changes to my anatomy, I would have limited control over my sphincter. Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-love.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-reanimated.php I was ready to leave anime behind for you, Jerry, but thank God I saw the light! Suddenly I felt like Yukinari being transported to the mystic world of Seiren, and Miharu-chan represented the saving grace that is Japanese animation: the only thing that can touch me without causing pain. Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-reanimated.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-gates.php I imagine you might try to call in some favors. I imagine the SWAT team right outside, Jerry. They're all out there waiting to bust down the door, swarm in, knock me to the floor, and handcuff my hands behind my back. Then, Jerry, they'll drag me outside as I scream and fight. I'll be screaming your name, Jerry. Wed, 04 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/anime-gates.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/my-worst-anime.php Look, Jerry, you're missing the point. Even if I did block you out intentionally, Jerry, I would have just cause. Living with you is like being trapped in prison with a mad man. Sometimes, Jerry, you look at me with those crazed eyes and I'm not sure whether you're going to rape me or kill me. Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/my-worst-anime.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/animocracy-in-action.php For you see, Jerry, I had a revelation. What came to me was the idea for a perfect utopian society, one where people live according to tenets put forth by the wisest characters from manga and anime. It's better than democracy, Jerry. It's animocracy. Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/animocracy-in-action.php