Thu, 08 Jul 2010 06:00:00 +0000 Golan the Insatiable: Godlord Terrible of Gkruool, Crusher of Wills, Raper of All. en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png 144 42 wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-insatiable-letter.php Cower!!! Golan the Insatiable addresses you, cowardly readers of Oak Grove Gazette! Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-insatiable-letter.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-insatiable-yor.php Tremble, feeble readers of Oak Grove Gazette! Once more you are being awarded with addressment from Golan the Insatiable, Godlord Terrible of Gkruool, Crusher of Wills, Raper of All! Tue, 05 Oct 2010 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-insatiable-yor.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-insatiable-comptroller.php I speak to you in reference to Wednesday's political debate held in Oak Grove High's gymnasium. Surely you were wondering why my fearsome presence was not felt in the room. And just as surely you will share my violent outrage when I inform you that I was denied entry, despite my proclamation that I am running for the office of Comptroller! Thu, 17 Feb 2011 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-insatiable-comptroller.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-advice-column.php So-called "advice columns" are very popular with your idiot species, crippled as you are by a myriad of laughable woes. Small citizens, prepare to gaze into Golan the Insatiable's fiery abyss of wisdom! Thu, 07 Jul 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-advice-column.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-wants-females.php Yes, my mighty phallus has talons. But they are retractable, and I will not loose them. I know you have no interest in being gorily tattered during your passions (though I promise you the ecstasy is quite terrible). No, I will not rip your head off during sex. I dont need to indulge this fetish to reach climax. Nothing can stop my fearsome climax! Thu, 29 Sep 2011 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-wants-females.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-xmas-massacre.php I have since learned that your Santa Claus is a strange pacification prank you play on your young, and not actually a worshiped god, but as a stranger in your stank dimension, you can doubtlessly understand why I took your Claus to be some fashion of minor deity when I saw a throng of people gathered before him on his blood-red velvetted throne. Thu, 05 Jan 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-xmas-massacre.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-yor-book.php Perhaps you are mystified as to why the puny dullard Yor has a published work spreading his meaningless legend, while Golan the Insatiable, a demigod who death-gripped an entire world, has none. I too have a champion to sing my saga onto the written page! I just didnt want to tell anyone, because it is far from a big deal for Golan the Insatiable. Thu, 12 Apr 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-yor-book.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-apprentice-dylan.php This is your chance to become a kickass minion in the cabal of Golan the Insatiable! In compliance with article 7b of The Golan Act, we're no longer called The Raping Fist of Golan. We're just The Fist of Golan. But as an organization we have more to offer than ever! Join now and youll receive this I Am a Finger in the Fist of Golan T-shirt! Thu, 05 Jul 2012 01:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-apprentice-dylan.php wormmiller@gmail.com (Worm Miller) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-vs-jesus.php While listening to the decrepit pastor detail the origin of the Xian godling, I made the perplexing discovery that Xmas is not in fact a celebration of the fabricated super-being Santa Claus. Furthermore, I had been entirely unaware of the similarities between Xian sub-god Jesus and myself. Golan the Insatiable is the clear better in this contrast! Thu, 20 Dec 2012 01:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/golan-vs-jesus.php