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		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<title>SA Series: Video Game Classifieds</title>
		<description>Find power-ups and more browsing classified ads plucked from the highly logical world of video games.</description>
		<link></link>
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		<webMaster>radium@somethingawful.com</webMaster>
		<managingEditor>webmaster@somethingawful.com</managingEditor>
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			<title>Front Page News: Rapture Standard Classified Ads</title>
			<author>livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh &quot;Livestock&quot; Boruff)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/rapture-classified-ads.php</link>
			<description>A sampling of classified ads clipped from the pages of the Rapture Standard, the finest underwater newspaper in the world.</description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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			<title>Front Page News: Capital Wasteland Classifieds</title>
			<author>livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh &quot;Livestock&quot; Boruff)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/capital-wasteland-classifieds.php</link>
			<description>Horrible earth-shattering apocalypse be damned! The Capital Wasteland is still alive and teeming with commerce, trade, and gainful employment. </description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2009 00:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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			<title>Front Page News: Mojave Wasteland Classifieds</title>
			<author>livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh &quot;Livestock&quot; Boruff)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/mojave-wasteland-classifieds.php</link>
			<description>FREE: MILLIONS OF AMMO CASINGS! A miracle of nature! My backpack has somehow accumulated what must be at least ten million completely weightless ammo casings. You can have them all as soon as you come get them from my pack, which I hid inside a scorpion den for obvious reasons. Good luck!</description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 03 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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			<title>Front Page News: More Mojave Wasteland Classifieds</title>
			<author>livestock@somethingawful.com (Rich &quot;Lowtax&quot; Kyanka &amp; Josh &quot;Livestock&quot; Boruff)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/mojave-wasteland-classifieds2.php</link>
			<description>ANYBODY LOSE AN OLD GUY?  I recently got lost inside the Strip and found myself in this weird computer room with a 300-year old mummy dude mumbling inside a giant plastic dildo.  Might be somebody&#039;s grandpa?  The guy wont shut up about snow globes and its driving me crazy. Free with proof of ownership.</description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 10 Nov 2010 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
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			<title>Front Page News: Skyrim Classified Ads</title>
			<author>livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh &quot;Livestock&quot; Boruff)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skyrim-classifieds.php</link>
			<description>ATTN: Dark Brotherhood. Just got new hardwood flooring installed that I dont want to bloody up performing the Black Sacrament. Anyways, could you kill the Dragonborn? He put a pot on my head and stole all my cabbages that I was saving up for a big feast.</description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
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			<title>Front Page News: More Skyrim Classifieds</title>
			<author>livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh &quot;Livestock&quot; Boruff)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skyrim-classifieds2.php</link>
			<description>FREE COLLEGE DEGREE - The College of Winterhold is accepting new students for its famous magic program. Interested candidates should simply show up and receive free room and board and education. Were so eager to start blasting magic all over the place that we wont even bother asking your name.</description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0600</pubDate>
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				<item>
			<title>Front Page News: Bioshock: Infinite Classifieds</title>
			<author>lowtax@somethingawful.com (Rich &quot;Lowtax&quot; Kyanka)</author>
			<link>http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/bioshock-infinite-columbia.php</link>
			<description>A collection of ads from Columbia, the setting of Bioshock: Infinite.</description>
			<pubDate>Wed, 03 Apr 2013 01:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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