Wed, 12 Oct 2011 05:00:00 +0000 Check out these helpful product reviews from your fellow SkyMall shoppers before making your next high-altitude purchase. en-us radium@somethingawful.com webmaster@somethingawful.com http://i.somethingawful.com/core/sa_logo_144.png 144 42 livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-crossword-puzzle.php My wife and children seem like a distant memory now that I have this wonderful crossword puzzle. I dread its completion, yet yearn to make it happen as soon as humanly possible. This must be how the male praying mantis feels. Wed, 12 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-crossword-puzzle.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-cobra-reviews.php It's just lovely, and the design goes great with most of my shorts and vests. Cobra walking sticks are great conversation starters and women are very attracted to the men who utilize them. Wed, 28 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-cobra-reviews.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-komfort-kollar.php Pros: Extremely comfortable memory foam support helps you relax on long trips. Cons: Sharp hooks inside cushion dig into neck and become locked around jugular. Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-komfort-kollar.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-peeing-boy.php Don't be a chump. Spring for the piped version with the recirculating pump. I feel like an idiot for not doing that. It breaks my heart looking at this little guy standing there, holding his thing and trying to pee. Wed, 22 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-peeing-boy.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-dog-crate.php The vague product description doesn't explain much. Is this large enough to fit an adult woman? How wide are those little side vents? Could I Get a 16" meat lovers pizza through them? Disturbed such common questions are not addressed in product details. Please be more thorough, SkyMall. Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-dog-crate.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-hair-laser.php We bought this to use on our hairless dog, but were shocked to discover the laser was baconizing his skin. The dog loves licking his new flavored flesh, and so do we. We're very afraid he'll start to gnaw it off, though. The smell is mouth watering and intoxicating. Fri, 30 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-hair-laser.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-infrared-sauna.php Love it, but would love it more if they added a hole to the seat so I didn't have to clean up any messes after extended stays inside. It's a bit hard to get in and out of and it's not like I'm going to diap up for something like this. Wed, 11 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-infrared-sauna.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-king-tut.php This is the fifth item I've ordered from SkyMall that's placed me under a curse. Most SkyMall curses are pretty tolerable, but this one is filled with horrible visions of scarabs eating my children's flesh. The cabinet itself is OK, but I haven't been able to get it open again and all of my Tracy Chapman CDs are inside. Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-king-tut.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-neckpro-traction.php Love it. Makes me feel like gentle angels are reaching down and grabbing the base of my skull and pulling upward as if to remove my head from my body completely, only they don't and the disorienting euphoria that follows briefly frees me from my neck pain for a good 10-15 minutes. Wed, 02 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-neckpro-traction.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-spy-camera.php Works like a charm! Have accrued over 80 hours of video of a certain family dog dragging his buttocks on the carpet. Will be presenting this evidence in a kangaroo court in our living room. Open and shut case, family. A slam dunk for sure. This dog is guilty and going to doggy prison. Wed, 16 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-spy-camera.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-litter-robot.php CONS: Plays fast and loose with Three Laws of Robotics. I personally witnessed it operating with a cat inside, allowing harm to come to it. The cat was showered violently in its own waste products before being deposited into a tiny drawer of filth. Wed, 30 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-litter-robot.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-forest-face.php Just a face? Heh. Let me know when you get below the neck, then we'll have some business to conduct, SkyMall. Wed, 27 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-forest-face.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-porch-potty.php I'm tired of dogs getting all the best places to s***. Why can't we humans have it good for once? I bought one of these for personal use & I'm not ashamed. Not one bit. Wed, 11 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-porch-potty.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-babette-table.php Adds just the right amount of maturity and beauty to my living room, which is sort of mostly Spider-Man themed. I like this table and may continue to gravitate towards a female legs motif and phase out the Spider-Man stuff, depending on how things go with dates. Keeping an open mind and open heart. Wed, 18 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-babette-table.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-eye-massager.php I got this for my horse who has been under a lot of stress lately. Long story short we are no longer on good terms. What a terrible product. I will not be recommending this head/eye scratcher to others and I am a very influential person. Wed, 08 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-eye-massager.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-dog-breath.php I know this says it is for dogs, but that probably just means it works twice as good on humans like every other dog product. Can I safely fill my mouth with this stuff? I'm going to try it and assume I can. Here I go. Wed, 22 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-dog-breath.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-upright-sleeper.php I have tried all of SkyMall's complicated head and neckware, and this is by far the least uncomfortable. The main benefit of this product is that there are no extra parts putting pressure on your eyeballs, grinding away at your scalp, or blasting your head with lasers. Wed, 21 Nov 2012 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-upright-sleeper.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-cellulite-smoother.php DOES NOT WORK AS ADVERTISED. Thought it would smooth out my fat, but all it did was move it to the right side of my body. Now I'm debilitatingly asymmetrical and can no longer hold down gainful employment as a toll booth operator. Wed, 30 Jan 2013 00:00:00 -0600 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-cellulite-smoother.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-dog-shoes.php We decided these shoes were not ideal and shipped them back. By mistake we shipped them back with the dog still wearing them. WE HAVE BEEN ON THE HORN WITH SKYMALL FOR DAYS TRYING TO GET OUR DOG BACK but they have no records of getting her. AT LEAST GIVE US A REFUND, JERKS!!!! Wed, 13 Mar 2013 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-dog-shoes.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-animal-repellent.php Pointless. The "sensor" gizmo is not smart enough to differentiate between common bird species. SkyMall, please let me know when you develop a product that can specifically target the nervous systems of birds I don't like. I've got some rude characters in my yard, and I want them to suffer for what they've done. Wed, 10 Apr 2013 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-animal-repellent.php livestock@somethingawful.com (Josh "Livestock" Boruff) http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-nano-wand.php IS IT WORKING? I've spent about three hours just running it back and forth over a carrot, hoping it would give me some indication when the carrot was safe to eat. Ill keep running it over the carrot until I get a response. Some kind of progress bar or robotic voice saying something like "WARNING! FECES DETECTED" would be great. Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/skymall-nano-wand.php