The Bakunians, under cover of night, approached a crowded mall: the temple of modern man. Mingling with man proved to be an enriching experience. The inhabitants of Earth played complex and intriguing games of chance. They constructed elaborate implements of self-defense. Alluringly materialistic, Earthlings placed great emphasis on proper fashion and etiquette.They even trained a slave caste to do their dirty work for them. The Bakunians were simply astounded by the modernity of this backwater planet. The Earthlings, in fact, were by far the most chill species the Bakunians had ever encountered. On the world of Bakunia, the ability to be chill is considered the greatest of all virtues. These Earthlings could be of great use to Bakunian scientists......and so the Bakunians took to the skies, eager to begin collecting invaluable specimens.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
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