The giftshop, while not yet open to the public, boasted all sorts of carefully engineered sexual devices, in the hopes of enticing more horses and humans to fornicate and create a master race of guorses.
Or, if not guorses, at least the more familiar hybrid: centaurs.
It was a true bestiality bonanza....
...complete with training kits to help women accomodate an equine endowment.
A sensitive guorse, our host made sure to include options for the vegetable fetishists among us, raising an important question: what do you call someone who is sexually aroused by vegetables? Besides "Michael Schiavo", I mean.
Yes, there was something for everyone here at Guorse's Giftshop.
Including do-it-yourself Guorse kits for those who wanted to assume another identity...
...or a different kind of position.
And so as we spun deep into the night, it became clear, if things continue the way they are, we face a future filled with harmony and horsecocks. Oh happy day. Oh happy, horsey day.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.