From: [email protected]
Subject: FFX Review

Whoever wrote your review of this game should be fired from your website. And if the master of this site wrote it, you should just shut yourself down.

Whoever wrote this review was a complete idiot, and could not even get half of the names right. Yuna's "older sister" was not only NOT her sister, her name was not "Lool", it was Lulu. Tidus' "foster father" was not named Aaron, he was named Auron. Tidus' father was not named Jack, he was named Jecht. It looks like the writer was trying to Americanize the names, which is a stupid thing to do. Even when the writer was not talking about this particular game, he couldn't get the names right. The hero of FFIX was NOT named "Cidane", it was Zidane, with a Z. Someone needs to reacquaint themselves with spellcheck. Also, early in the review, the writer said: "Inside jokes like Moggles (a reference to Harry Potter)". HELLO???? For one, they're called MOOGLES, and for another, they predate Harry Potter by about ten years.

I am not saying that FFX was all that great, in fact I didn't like it that much. But the next time you post something on your site, you should make sure whoever wrote it knows what they are talking about. Doing otherwise totally ruins your site's credibility.

P.S. If you're wondering what I am talking about, follow this link: Truth Media - Real Reviews, Real People. The review on this link is full of misinformation.

See, now this guy was being helpful; he posted a link to the review in question at the bottom of his email! We can't begin to count the times a person has wrote in, critiquing an article we wrote days before, and failed to include the URL to the article we wrote! Sometimes we even forget what website we're writing for and attempt to upload our articles to www.microsoft.com, who always fails to publish them. WHY MICROSOFT, WHY?

Let's move to greener pastures and the exciting world of Jørgen Vik, a person who has the wonderful ability and superpower of having that silly little "ø" character in their name, which I think implies they are either a cyborg or Hitler or possibly both.

From: Jørgen Vik
Subject: retards

fucking retards, I would like to kill you and your familly.

best regards
psycho.

"Fucking retards, I would like to kill you and your family" is how they say "hello and good morning" in Norway. It's Norwegian! Now you have learned the language of love and for that you will always owe us, hopefully with some kind of money. I'm not sure if "psycho" was expressing his desire to kill all retards or just us, but either way I think it's fairly safe for us to start fearing for our very lives.

Now we don't want to shock or alarm any of you with the following email, but... well hell, we just thought about it and actually we don't care if we shock or alarm you. The next message comes courtesy from SPC Ryan D. Gavant who mailed this gem from an Army base in Georgia. Yes, that is correct, this is a person who is theoretically supposed to be out there, not searching for Osama Bin Laden, but is instead playing Final Fantasy X and writing longwinded, boring, obvious emails to a self-proclaimed "comedy" website. When World War III comes up and the US is successfully invaded by rampaging Howler Monkeys armed with nothing but sticks and rocks, you can thank the fighting force of people like Ryan D. Gavant.

From: Gavant, Ryan SPC
Subject: The most inaccurate review ... ever.

My head hurts from reading this review. I thought I'd catalogue all the inconsistencies, so here goes:

#1 Although the main character in the first .jpeg (the one in the middle) is Tidus, the background is of the cover of FFIX.
#2 This might be the final single-player Final Fantasy by Squaresoft, but there are 10 other projects in the works right now that are single player RPGs from square.
#3 Just curious what water effect rival those of the Gamecube, is there a Gamecube game with amazing water effects in specific, or just the possibility of water effects?
#4 Moogles (not Moggles) have been around longer than Harry Potter (which are Muggles, anyway).
#5 I'm not sure the origin of Chocobos, but they have been in a dumpload of Final Fantasy games (they are large ostrich-like birds that characters can ride).
#6 Tidus doesn't start out as a Summoner-Mage. Although you can make him a powerful mage, he cannot summon Aeons, only Yuna can.
#7 Although Auron (not Aaron) surely represents a father-figure for Tidus, he is not his Foster-Father.
#8 The portal Auron thrusts Tidus though doesn't deposit Tidus a thousand miles away, rather at first it appears to have thrust him though time (I think that it was approximated at a 1,000 years through time).
#9 The .jpeg that is Rikku, isn't, that is Tidus.
#10 Rikku doesn't start out as good at magic, she can in fairly short order learn how to steal, and can cripple some of the mechanical monstrosities easily with this skill.
#11 I must've missed the gay aspect of Tidus-Wakka, either that or maybe the writer is transferring some of his/her own "feelings."
#12 Before I forget, Wakka doesn't use a sword, he uses a Blitzball as a weapon.
#13 Lulu (not Lool) isn't Yuna's older sister, just her guardian who acts like an older sister.
#14 Chappu didn't become lost at sea, he was killed by Sin.
#15 Lulu doesn't have a pet ghost, her weapons are dolls, and yes, they are pretty weak, she is the magic-user of the group.
#16 I forget what Yuna's father's name was, but Tidus' father's name is not Jack (it is Jahk).
#17 Jahk doesn't betray Auron and Yuna's father, he voluntarily becomes Sin to bring about a period of peace (freedom from Sin).
#18 The plot line was obviously too complex for this author to grasp, the Zanarkand that Tidus is "from" is actually a dream. Tidus is brought forth from that "dream" into the reality of the current world (with Sin).
#19 Rikku and Wakka were never slated to marry, in fact the emotional "realization" comes when Wakka, who hates Al-Bhed, finds out that Rikku is an Al-Bhed, and accepts her anyway.
#20 Overdrives, when the Overdrive Meter is built up, are simply enabled, they are not automatic.
#21 Overdrives are learned through repetition. Watching teammates get damaged enough will eventually open the Overdrive that allows the overdrive meter to be charged that way, as will battling solo.
#22 Rikku's Overdrive is Mix. It only allows her to mix two items in your inventory to some structured effect.
#23 If this author thinks Blitzball is easy, I'd wonder if he won the first (and only mandatory) Blitzball game in the story (it is incredibly unequally slanted against you.) Not impossible, just very very hard.
#24 Square is making more Final Fantasy games, maybe not anymore single player Final Fantasies, but that still remains to be seen.

Ryan D. Gavant

Our heads hurt from reading Ryan D. Gavant's review of our review. We think we'll catalogue all the inconsistencies, so here goes:

#1 RYAN D. GAVANT SHOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER BE ALLOWED NEAR ANY TYPE OF FIREARM OR EXPLOSIVE

If we weren't already fearful of the Army blowing up our apartments, we'd probably make fun of them for recruiting this bozo.

Moving on, those of you on the right side of the airplane will see what looks to be a large empty field and a pool of mud. However, this isn't simply an everyday large empty field and pool of mud; it also contains all the brain cells of our next flame mail corespondent, "~jim," who is apparently a contributor to this site (although probably not in the way he meant).

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Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.

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