Ha ha, our website is "trully something awful!" Get it? Because our website is named "Something Awful" and "~jim" was saying that our website, named "Something Awful," is actually "something awful!" Do you understand the magnitude and brilliance of this joke? This original and clever insult could only come from the keyboard of Jesus Christ Himself! We are now proceeding to print out 3,000 copies of this email and eat them all in a futile attempt to have even .0000001% of the raw wit of "~jim"! People who send in flame email messages are always so smart and creative, we should just print out "~jim"s email message and make a book out of it. Then it would be made into a motion picture. Then it would have six cartoon and comic book spinoffs. Thank you very much, Internet!
Although we're still trying to cope with the intensity of "~jim"s stunning intellect, I think we should proceed to the next flame, one which is short and... well, it's just short.
Well that sure sucks! We figured all of the review was totally wrong, then you had to come by and drop this ticking timebomb on our collective heads! How will we ever be able to live with ourselves? I'll tell you how: narcotics.
Let's go back and get a second opinion from one of those star-studded individuals who go into further depth regarding the many factual errors and inconsistencies in our review. You know, because I get the impression that most of the review was totally wrong and such.
From: Dariush Shafa
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.