The following email is our personal favorite. It's got everything a little sister could ask for: typos, spelling errors, ALL CAPS, death threats, clichéd insults, and overall gradeschool-like behavior. He should join our writing staff here at Something Awful!
From: Robot Godmachine
We here at Something Awful HQ aren't afraid to admit we are all "fucking faggo butt-lips." We're not ashamed to be retards or jackasses. However, when somebody claims one of our articles has "STUPID WRRORS," we'll fight to your death proving that we have never and will never make a "STUPID WRROR" anywhere on this site. This is a promise we make to you, our friends!
Let's wrap up this dead fish once and for all by concluding the flamefest with an insightful and thought-provoking message from "Phatpnoi3k," one which will hopefully make us all better people and help humanity transcend to the next plane of consciousness.
FUCKING FAGGO, YOU MADE A STUPID WRROR!!!
Ah well, I guess that whole "make us better people" deal didn't work out like we thought it would. You have our solemn promise that we'll never again overestimate the intellectual capacity of people willing to write in and complain about obviously fake video game reviews. Hopefully next time that whole thing will happen or whatever and we'll just all be sitting pretty on our high horses. Until then, this is the Truth Media staff signing off by writing, "ONLY FUCKING FAGGOS SIGN OFF BY WRITING CLEVER CATCHPHRASES!"
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Old mixed signals feeling a little stale? Try some new ones!
day 2: still working on the car
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.