Flames From Review of Final Fantasy X

From: [email protected]
Subject: Your FFX review

To whom it may concern, I am both shocked and appaulled by your review of the game Final Fantasy X. It is untrue and completely wrong. The character descriptions are, by far, the most despicable, far fetched lies I have ever read. You don't even have enough sense to spell their names right for goodness sakes! In the order of which i'm reading, here are all of your ignorant mistakes:

-The overworld is not called Spiral, it is called Spira, no L.
-Tidus is not a summoner-mage, he is ONLY a fighter and a Blitzball player, he in no way can summon Aeons. Any loser could figure out pretty quick that Yuna is the only one who can summon Aeons!
-Aaron, as you call him, is not Tidus's foster dad, he is his Tidus's dad's friend! And his name is Auron, not Aaron! There is no point in the game that says Auron is his foster dad.
-Rikku's character is not, I repeat NOT a cyborg in human skin! She is completely HUMAN! And yes, she IS infact good with machines, if you wre smart enough, you'd see that Rikku can kill a machine/robot by useing her 'steal' comand.
-Wakka, you think he uses a sword? Your the biggest loser in the world! You must be as blind as a bat if you can't see that he uses a Blitzball for a weapon!
-Lool? Who the hell is that?! Her name is LuLu dumbshit! She is NOT Yuna's older sister, she is Yuna's summoning guardian. and Chappu was not lost at sea, he was killed by Sin! No, she does not have a pet ghost who kills things for her, she uses dolls!
-Bruce is actually Braska, Lord Braska the summoner.
-Jack is actually Jecht!
-Jecht does not betray his friends, he sacrifices himself and therefore he became Sin!
-Oh, that picture you have that is apperently Rikku, it is Tidus, get it right!
-What made Sin destroy Zanarkand in the first place? Ummm Sin is made to destroy everything you idiot! It doesn't need a purpose, its a destroying machine!
-Rikku and Wakka do not get married at the end!
-Yuna does not dance for Tidus, she is doing a Sending, which sends all of the spirits to the farplane.
-Rikku is not the one who steals life away from an enemy, that would be Kimahri and she does not have the power to cast a spell that can kill an enemy instantly.
-Cloud from FFVII's last name is Strife, not stryfe and from FFIX, it's spelt Zidane, not Cidane.

So by far, that is the worst review ever of FFX. If, in fact, this is just a sarcastic and silly joke review of this game, you sir, are an immture, ignorant, arrogant, little boy with no time on his hands so you create false reviews and lies of a game that is practically nothing like what you said it is like. If, in fact it is a real review, I suggest actually playing the game young man, then writting a different review because your lack of knowledge of this game is quite appaulling. Also, if this is a real review, I suggest it would be in your best interest to not take up being a reporter as a job, as you cannot seem to get your information straight.

Thank you for your time.

what

The following email is our personal favorite. It's got everything a little sister could ask for: typos, spelling errors, ALL CAPS, death threats, clichéd insults, and overall gradeschool-like behavior. He should join our writing staff here at Something Awful!

From: Robot Godmachine
Subject: your so-called FFX review

You fucking faggo your review of final Fantasy X was so stupid I don't even know where to start kickig your ass. I laughed hard and long when it was forwarded to me.

it is PAINFULLT OBVIOUS THAT YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED THSI GAME ALL THE WAY THROUGH. If you had you would not have made made STUPID WRRORS like calling RIKKU, the mistress of mahcines, a sorceress. You would have KNOWN that RIKKU DOES NO HAVE A ROMANTIC INTEREST IN WAKKA! that's "Lula" who you foolishly identified as Lool.

And oyu gave the graphics a 1, but replay value a 9? Get your head checked, retard, becuase this game is great, but only a jackasss would play it twice. Oh, did someone say JACKASS?

your site is indeed something awful. And so are your reviews, butt-lip.

We here at Something Awful HQ aren't afraid to admit we are all "fucking faggo butt-lips." We're not ashamed to be retards or jackasses. However, when somebody claims one of our articles has "STUPID WRRORS," we'll fight to your death proving that we have never and will never make a "STUPID WRROR" anywhere on this site. This is a promise we make to you, our friends!

Let's wrap up this dead fish once and for all by concluding the flamefest with an insightful and thought-provoking message from "Phatpnoi3k," one which will hopefully make us all better people and help humanity transcend to the next plane of consciousness.

From: phatpnoi3k
Subject: Advice

I like readin SA all the time but the truthmedia reviews aren't really all that funny; especially when you clown media that is actually good.

So whether or not you actually liked the FFX game, here's a bit of advice: NEVER BASH ON SQUARSOFT... wanker

FUCKING FAGGO, YOU MADE A STUPID WRROR!!!

Ah well, I guess that whole "make us better people" deal didn't work out like we thought it would. You have our solemn promise that we'll never again overestimate the intellectual capacity of people willing to write in and complain about obviously fake video game reviews. Hopefully next time that whole thing will happen or whatever and we'll just all be sitting pretty on our high horses. Until then, this is the Truth Media staff signing off by writing, "ONLY FUCKING FAGGOS SIGN OFF BY WRITING CLEVER CATCHPHRASES!"

- TruthMedia Editor