From: [email protected]
Subject: YOU DUMB RETARD!

U FAG FUCK FAGGOT! CHARLIE MURPHY DID THE VOICE OF JISY! SOME OTHER BLACK DUDE DID THE VOICE OF CJ JOHNSON. THIS GAME IS AWESOME, AND YUR REVIEW IS FULL SHIT. I BET YOU LIKE SUCKING COCKS AND TAKING IT UP THE ASS YOU STUPID SHIT HOLE!

JOHN STABB

We get these kinds of emails a lot. When you make fun of someone's favorite video game they get unreasonably angry. In fact, any amount of anger felt over a video game that you have no personal stake in is unreasonable. I'll go even further and say that getting angry about anything ever is unreasonable. Live a carefree life of fun and fancy. I have a couple of tapes that really helped me through some tough times, [email protected] Maybe you might want to borrow them? Call me man. I'm worried about you.

Sigh, more emails.

From: "Chris Trump"
Subject: Response to GTA: San Andreas Review

i am responding to your review of GTA: San Andreas. Never in my life have I read such a blatent review of misinterpretation, or incorrect facts and info.
Stop spinning shit. You cannot complete the game in less that 20 hours. You have all your facts wrong. It sounds like you haven't actually played the game at all. It sounds like you've walked in a room to for 3 seconds and glanced at someone else playing who is camly and enjoyably awaiting the next mission to load.
You should be ashamed of yourself because most parts of your review are purely prejudice and insulting. And for including True Crime in your review. Activision would be scared shitless because of the bad vibes they are going to get because some wise-ass recist nerd has compared their game against the best of the industry.
Halo 2 is the biggest overhyped borish, repetetive piece of crap game I have ever played and in know way can be compared to the GTA series. You are an example of someone who is "Poisoning the Industry".
P.S: The score you gave San Andreas will have people all over the gaming world feuding with anger.

Thanks for responding to my review of GTA: San Andreas Chris. It really means a lot to me. But like many other emails I have recieved on this topic I must correct your many mistakes. First of all you can complete the game in 20 hours if you are playing a different game. Secondly, I don't know anyone who owns GTA: San Andreas, much less myself. Third I am not ashamed of myself because of this review, I am ashamed of myself because I masturbated in the bushes next to my next-door neighbor's window. Last and not least, Halo 2 is in no way overhyped, borish, or repetitive. Halo 2 is a kind loving man who gives to the local community center every Christmas. I feel for you Chris Trump, not because you are a loving human being, but because you have fantastic eyes. I hope my score incites anger and violence because goddamnitt, why not?

The next guy is full of me.

From: "Austin"
Subject: WHAT!?

Ugh, your review of San Andreas, our lord and saviors work, is just like your name, it's all spokker jones. Die in hell x2. KTHXPLSBY.

Okay, now that's just childish. Sure, hate me all you want. Throw pies in my face or spike my water supply with liquor. But please don't throw empty threats my way as if they were pies or liquor. I am a very weak man who cannot take what he dishes out. How dare you send me an email that takes advantage of these attributes!

The bottom line is that my review was the only one that spoke the real honest to god truth about some game I actually really enjoy playing.

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