Some people were not quite as nice as Parisa about my errors. Some Kennys...

From: K. Lewson
To: Zack
Subject: YOU DON'T DESERVE TO REVIEW WATHCMEN

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with something awful but you should not be anywhere near movie reviews you dumb fuck...

You made so many mistakes I don't know wear to start. Open the dicks you call eyes you silly faggot it was Mr. MANHATTAN not doctor atomic. And he is played by billy cruddup not Adrian brody. LOOK IT THE FUCK UP ON IMDB. How hard is that?

Also there is no way that movie ends like what you said. You must have been too busy thinking about some gay Obama shit you fucking moron. Rorschach DIES at the end he doesn't save the day. The ending is not a HOLLYWOOD ending the only thing they changed hardly matters and it wasn't what you said either...

The rape scene is a serious scene of an emotional event that changes the characters relationships. Its in the comic by ALAN FUCKING MOORE and not supposed to give you a boner you fucking weirdo if you are too immature to handle it then don't fucking write a reiview

Also at the end of your stupid review you compare watchmen to fantastic four. Uh, guess what faggot? Watchmen is a commentary on shit like fantastic 4. It's saying heroes aren't really heroic and being a hero messes you up and stuff. Meanwhile in fantastic four they are all just okay with everything and being a hero is awesome. Use your brain next time you write an article because what you wrote was seriously something awful...

- Kenny


First of all Kenny what sort of name is that? That's a baby's name and that was a baby's email. And how dare you send me this sort of email in this economy. With all of these people losing jobs every day this is what you care about? This is a petty distraction from the issues that matter to the American people and I, sir, will have no part of it!

Also, how about you look up Mr. Manhattan and Alan Moore on the bottom of my gigantic weiner, Kenny.

Some people sent more than one email. Like Tom B., who is a two-faced turd. He sent me a pretty nice email pointing out some mistakes (that he is wrong about) and generally offering what he thought was constructive criticism, but wasn't constructive because I was right and he was wrong.

From: Tom B.
To: Zack
Subject: Watchmen Review

I just finished reading your review of Watchmen. Your obvious ignorance of the characters is irritating, but understandable, and most people will share that, so I am not going to complain about it.

But you ended your review with this quote:
"Those of you who aren't familiar with Gaiman's comic masterpiece and those of you looking for something a little more cerebral than, say, "Fantastic Four" should steer clear of Watchmen. It is a thrill ride and a treat for old fans, but it is not going to being winning new audiences to Gaiman's elegant work."

Neil Gaiman is a fantastic writer, both of comics and novels. His Sandman series is one of the gold standards of the genre. But you will not find a single word of his in Watchmen. It was the brainchild and work of Alan Moore, another giant in the comic industry. This fact is easily found with a quick Google search or look at Wikipedia.

You might try doing some more research like reading the credits on the graphic novel you said you bought and read. Getting a basic fact like that wrong, doesn't really say much about you ability to make cogent observations about any work.

Tom B.


Okay, not bad. I don't want to kick his ass and show it to him, just maybe push him into a locker or trip him up as he walks past. When I read this one I was thinking I could almost be friends with Tom B.

More Truth Media [Flames]

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

About This Column

Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.