Worried my dog might be a nerd— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) January 30, 2013
Tim Allen > Time Allen > Time Alien, guys holy shit guys— your dad (@Dads_Secret) January 31, 2013
Who's super good at cursive? I wanna script 'The Road Puto' in big, swooping letters on my tailgate.— beestfalin (@beefstalin) February 1, 2013
Taco trucks are weird. They're like "hey, what's up man, come eat some greasy Mexican food from the back of my van" and we're just like "OK"— Matt Bedinger (@MattElGato) February 2, 2013
My nickname in high school was "Who"— Nick (@NickBossRoss) February 2, 2013
I met a guy named AJ tonight who had a severe “I need to change my first name to two initials” vibe about him— Andrew (@bn2b) February 7, 2013
He has unlocked the secrets of the universe and seen beyond the mortal plane, yet Doctor Strange can't believe how easy it is to eat an olive.
You can realize that you’ve wasted the last few moments of youth at an occupation you hate or fool yourself into a numb compliance with one of these great excuses.