Don't trust men. They'll say anything to get in your pants, prance with them round the house and say shit like "I'm Becky I wear girl pants"— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) October 21, 2012
Friday night, bitches!!! We're going to our babysitter's birthday party to make 'E.T.' references that nobody gets!— Dan Ewen (@VaguelyFunnyDan) October 20, 2012
When's the cutoff for trying to memorize the lyrics to "It's The End Of The World As We Know It". Trying to get an edge, socially.— albertina rizzo (@albz) October 16, 2012
HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEA: don’t— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) October 22, 2012
I would literally watch my parents fuck in their hot tub before I'd watch an episode of Dancing With The Stars.— Slashleen (@Slashleen) October 18, 2012
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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