Don't trust men. They'll say anything to get in your pants, prance with them round the house and say shit like "I'm Becky I wear girl pants"— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) October 21, 2012
Friday night, bitches!!! We're going to our babysitter's birthday party to make 'E.T.' references that nobody gets!— Dan Ewen (@VaguelyFunnyDan) October 20, 2012
When's the cutoff for trying to memorize the lyrics to "It's The End Of The World As We Know It". Trying to get an edge, socially.— albertina rizzo (@albz) October 16, 2012
HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEA: don’t— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) October 22, 2012
I would literally watch my parents fuck in their hot tub before I'd watch an episode of Dancing With The Stars.— Slashleen (@Slashleen) October 18, 2012
What is the world searching for when it wants porn? The stats will blow your mind.
it's hard to shake the feeling that I've always got five stars in this Grand Theft Auto known as life.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!