I'll have you know, "sir", that some of my best posable action figures are black.— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) October 20, 2012
no i will not hold my horses that would be very heavy and dangerous not to mention buttercup has intimacy issues— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) October 19, 2012
Apparently everyone at the beach is pretty laid back about peeing in the ocean until you stand on the shore to do it— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) October 22, 2012
Sorry strange one eyed man, I'm not letting you use my phone because you look faster than me— Stephen Wundar(@roscow) October 22, 2012
i'm trying to write jokes but all i keep thinking about is my new karate pig character named pork chop— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) October 22, 2012
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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