I'll have you know, "sir", that some of my best posable action figures are black.— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) October 20, 2012
no i will not hold my horses that would be very heavy and dangerous not to mention buttercup has intimacy issues— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) October 19, 2012
Apparently everyone at the beach is pretty laid back about peeing in the ocean until you stand on the shore to do it— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) October 22, 2012
Sorry strange one eyed man, I'm not letting you use my phone because you look faster than me— Stephen Wundar(@roscow) October 22, 2012
i'm trying to write jokes but all i keep thinking about is my new karate pig character named pork chop— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) October 22, 2012
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!