I'll have you know, "sir", that some of my best posable action figures are black.— Eli Terry (@EliTerry) October 20, 2012
no i will not hold my horses that would be very heavy and dangerous not to mention buttercup has intimacy issues— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) October 19, 2012
Apparently everyone at the beach is pretty laid back about peeing in the ocean until you stand on the shore to do it— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) October 22, 2012
Sorry strange one eyed man, I'm not letting you use my phone because you look faster than me— Stephen Wundar(@roscow) October 22, 2012
i'm trying to write jokes but all i keep thinking about is my new karate pig character named pork chop— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) October 22, 2012
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
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