Not to be confused with Physical Cliff, who is never allowed at the YMCA again.— tokenbrotha (@tokenbrotha) November 9, 2012
FUN FACT: when a dog sees a cat they just think it's a really sexy dog— Pablo Naruto (@russvsbear) August 29, 2012
*overlooks majestic plains of north america & feels the wind's plea to respect the land that raised his ancestors* "my phone's about to die"— dank hitler(@urynus) September 21, 2012
Just saw a horse run by with a boner, I got super pissed and chased after it but he was faster than me— The Prez (@Perfect_Beanis) April 12, 2011
I cranked my hog today/to see if it still squeals/i focus on the hog/the only thing that's real— dat aß (@all_night_diner) May 14, 2012
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Everything worth reading from Twitter in one handy, horrible place!