As 2009 comes to a close, video game sites continue their quest to generate precious clicks with lazy features like "Best Games Of The Decade" and "The Most Influential Games Of The Last Yen Years" and "List Game Top Decade 10".
This time around, readers chime in on everything from Harvester to soul-stealing computers to the mystery of the multiplying David Bowie.
Grabbing a box from the shelf of your local Babbage's in the mid-90's might have netted a standard RTS, but you were just as likely to discover an FMV adventure game about Dennis Hopper opening a detective agency in a cyberpunk version of Hell where all disputes are settled via hoverbike races.
Development on StarCraft II began in 2003, and Diablo III went into production in 2005. To put that into perspective, more time has gone into those two games than all of the hours that were spent making video games in the Palaeozaic and Mesozoic eras combined.
Borderlands is amazing once you get past the cumbersome menus, disable mouse acceleration, then adjust the field of view until it's closer to that of a human with two eyes instead of a cyclops with horse blinders on.
If you catch yourself thinking, "Wait, if that wasn't 'Soul Thrashing Black Sorcery' by Skeletonwitch, what was it?" while playing Brutal Legend, please refer to this handy list of uncredited heavy metal tracks from the game.
"God? Ha. God is dead. Let me see what items you have for sale."
I didn't get the final cinematic, either, where Batman says "This isn't over, not by a long shot", and we see a dark corner of the bat cave with dozens of eggs wriggling, one cracking open to reveal a tiny hand with a Batglove reaching skyward.
The official Nintendo e-mail newsletter recently called upon loyal fans to write in with things they'd like to see in upcoming iterations of the company's flagship titles. I thought the results were surprisingly good, so I'm reprinting them here for everyone who hasn't subscribed to the newsletter.
Here I am, looking at a press release for an Everquest expansion called "Underfoot". This is frightening for two reasons. First, the title is pandering to people who fantasize about being crushed by 60-foot tall superheroes. Second, this will be the game's SIXTEENTH expansion.
Borderlands will feature somewhere around one billion guns, give or take a few infinity plus ones. This works out to roughly 1,500 guns per bullet that the average player will come across, making the "throw gun" button an invaluable addition to the game.
There is a kingdom, but there is a shadow, dark and also metaphorical. The shadow has befallen the kingdom. Although you come from an unlikely beginning, only you can save the kingdom and probably the whole world.
There are thousands of Fallout 3 mods out there, but only a few could be considered essential. If I had it to do all over again, this is what I would install to get the most out of the game the first time around.
I've never played the original ArmA. I don't even know what the title means, but I'm pretty sure it's short for Armed Army. (EDIT: A helpful reader corrected me, it's actually an abbreviation of Arm A)
I run up the face of the largest building in the city, leap backwards, and let myself fall. The wind assaults me with the force of a tidal wave on a storm-battered shore. My hoodie never wavers.
Electricity is the solution to every problem you encounter in inFAMOUS which cannot be resolved through the use of random capitalization.
This week we take a break from VGA's regular format to cover the tragic end of 3D Realms and the newly-unveiled controller peripheral for Tony Hawk's Ride.
Join thousands of fellow brave adventurers in the world's first Massively Multiplayer Single Character Role Playing Game as you cooperatively control Wizard, the only hero capable of saving the Realm from Boss and his loyal horde of Minions!
Gordon Freeman's silent nerd schtick is iconic, but he was very nearly a bulky, bearded angry viking with a flat top. Read on to see what similar fates nearly befell the Half-Life series' supporting cast.
Mike Tyson's Punch Out! wasn't limited to pugilism and lilliputian player characters, it was also limited to useless banter between sweaty men with head injuries.
Some see the virgin Mary in curly fries, we see Aeris in Mountain Dew stains. Come experience the visions that will make you believe that food can look like other things if you squint and are crazy.
As the writer of a video game article so popular it actually shows up as the second result in a Google search for "Video Game Article", my opinions are something of a hot commodity. Not a day goes by without a beta test invite seeking insights that can turn even the dullest of turds into glistening piles of pungent success.
Remembering the exceptional writing that made Root Beer Tapper one of gaming's classic titles for the ages.
In addition to particle effects, added quark effects which cannot be seen even at the highest zoom level. We might have also implemented dark matter effects, but that's difficult to prove or disprove.
Ice Hockey for the NES was ahead of its time. It was simultaneously fun, nationalistic, and accurate in its portayal of athletes who were mordibly obese. It was also chock full of unfrogettable prose.
Let it be known that we are for sale, and can fill the void left behind by failed game websites and publications immediately. We can adapt to any format, from news blog to extreme gaming lifestyle portal to tombstone epitath carvings.