One Sentence Reviews

NCAA Football '08
Everything you'd want in a college football game but the Introduction To Dogfighting classes. 8/10

Vampire Rain
"It's like Splinter Cell but with vampires" is the new "It's like Speed... on a treadmill!" 2/10

Project Sylpheed
The anime storyline is better than the gameplay, resulting in the first game to make me question everything I know about the universe. 5/10

All-Pro Football 2K8
Not the best football game in the world by any means, but it gets bonus points for making Madden try this year. 7/10

Civilization IV: Beyond The Sword
The best way to become the world's most powerful leader without selling your soul to the devil, unless you sold your soul to the devil for a copy of this game. 8/10

Terror Strike
When you rip off the classic Rainbow Six PC games (which were awesome because of their slow pace which ratcheted up the tension) and mix in the speed and tactics of Sonic The Hedgehog, you're a fucking idiot. 3/10

Call For Heroes: Pompolic Wars
I think they meant to print out a call for talented and inspired developers, but clicked the wrong button and burned ten thousand copies of this unfinished turd instead. 1/10

Persona 3
A single battle features more people shooting themselves in the head than the entire history of the fraudulent "Suicide Girls" website that I wasted a three years worth of subscription fees on. 8/10

Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks The 80's
It's like the Vice City of the Guitar Hero franchise, only with way less songs, which sort of make up the entirety of what the game has to offer. 6/10

Nervous Brickdown
The best game with a scatalogical title in the history of video games, and a pretty decent Arkanoid clone too. 7/10

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell

More Video Game Article

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.