Religions are pretty silly if you take them 100 percent literally. Islam is no exception. The rules you must follow to stay a good Muslim are numerous and confusing. It's more complicated than the ruleset to D&D, which is pretty complicated already as we all know! Everything is a sin and everybody is sinner. Luckily there's a web site out there that can help you understand what it means to be a truly good Muslim. It's called Ask the Imam, and if you've got a question about the tenants of Islam, the Imam can answer it. It looks like a joke site and if it is, to hell with it, it's still pretty funny.

Sigh! That's a huge relief. Thank you Imam.


All of Islam revolves around the eyebrows! To cut them off would be a grave sin!


It's not unless the amulet is +3 to vitality but those are pretty rare.


Short answer: Pussy. Long answer: You're a pussy. Signed, the Imam.


I don't know if I could ever repent under Allah. I mean, for God's sake, I am masturbating right now believe it or not.


I think Allah cares more about cats than he does women.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.