From: "[email protected]"
Subject: I just read your Bioshock review... comments...

I just wanted to comment on your Bioshock review.

First of all, I just wanted to comment that I think you were incredibly harsh on this game, I just finished it myself, and extremely disagree with you.

I watched countless times when damaging an enemy or setting them on fire, as they ran away and put the fire out, or ran to a health station away from me to heal... so when you say the AI is stupid, I disagree. Also, I even found myself laying mines for an elite 'big daddy' to come walk through, and he would refuse to walk through the hallway laced with mines, instead staying back waiting for me to come into his view so he could unload on me once again.

Next, I have to ask, what difficulty DID you play this game on? When playing on hard, I guarantee you can NOT beat this game with an un-upgraded pistol, let alone an un-upgraded any weapon. The pistol picks away slowly to the enemies with high health, and is nearly unhittable to the quick-moving enemies.

Graphics... now I agree with you that at times, some models were repetitious... wow. I was constantly taken back by some of the wonderous detail they put into every room, little niches here and there that made each unqiue and its own... and those little 'dark' areas that make them not have to add anything... try using your 'ignite' plasmid in the blackness, I did myself as a 'form' of flashlight.

Also, the 'find a crowbar' thing, not only was it an important piece of the story (as you find out later the 'would you kindly' was a form of mind control) it secretly drilled into your head the phrase that was so subtley put into by Atlas as he 'guided' you around. The hacking mini-game, I thought they could put a bit of variety in there, but those hard ones... man it was a rush when that water started flowing almost instantaneously.

While the game, isn't 'completely' original, plot twists, and being a FPS and all...

I think it has to be one of the best FPS I've ever played.

Here's what I had a problem with though:
1. You never saw what you looked like (I guess that's b/c the guy was 'supposed to look like you' I guess?)
2. The endings I saw... were horrible, all that work for such a letdown :-
3. A bit too much wandering/killing... sometimes I just wanted to move on with the story.
4. A little less weapon-carriage... I mean, too old-school I carry 2934 weapons.

What did I say in my review that sounded like, "Send in your own opinions about BioShock. I want to hear them!"? This guy takes the review way too seriously but actually agrees with some of my lies. That's the power of Truth Media, bringing people together with truth in media, or something like that.

To be honest I can't even keep my own bullshit straight anymore.

– Hassan "Acetone" Mikal

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.