I hope you die.
Rest assured I take solace in the fact that I HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH AN EIGHT YEAR OLD NOR DO I FANTASIZE ABOUT DOING SO.
Here's a guy who we know has pedophile porn on his computer. The part I blacked out is of a naked boy on the beach but "Joecool4218" has put that lovely message over the pelvic region. And for the record, seeing a child's penis does cause sexual abuse. SOMEONE HAD TO TAKE THE PICTURE YOU GODDAMN MORON.
Shut that whole fucking organization down.
Enough of these fucking worthless pedophile sacks of crap. Now it's time to say hello to the freaks we like. The fun part of the feature starts on the next page.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.