I hope you die.
Rest assured I take solace in the fact that I HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH AN EIGHT YEAR OLD NOR DO I FANTASIZE ABOUT DOING SO.
Here's a guy who we know has pedophile porn on his computer. The part I blacked out is of a naked boy on the beach but "Joecool4218" has put that lovely message over the pelvic region. And for the record, seeing a child's penis does cause sexual abuse. SOMEONE HAD TO TAKE THE PICTURE YOU GODDAMN MORON.
Shut that whole fucking organization down.
Enough of these fucking worthless pedophile sacks of crap. Now it's time to say hello to the freaks we like. The fun part of the feature starts on the next page.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.