Goddamn you miserable pedophile.

I read that as, "I was raping this chick..." Either way.

So we're talking a girl who transforms into a cow with a penis? GODDAMNITT.

I want a cockshot.

A lot of men running around here have a dick without testicles.

I would change my fingers into penises and use them to dig a tunnel to China.

I have that stuff. I can condition my body to feel intense euphoria when I drive a nail through my penis. Biocontrol is also known as A SHITLOAD OF DRUGS.

What guy hasn't tasted their own ejaculate before? Not me!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.