I carry a gun in case my stagecoach gets robbed by bandits.

Anus would win it in 6 games.

The only rules are no closed fists and no hitting faces.

WTF VVV JAY JAY SAY RHYMES TODAY

I get the two confused all the time.

I blame "Mean Gene" Okerlund.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

About This Column

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.