I use the misspellings and bad grammar to help me imagine the characters in the story as mildly retarded and this is a huge turn on for me.
AUGH COLORS FUCK I HATE THEM!
You see, gay is a choice. Don't make the wrong choice kids!
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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