Woah, it's the nerd that comes to a party who no one talks to and ultimately ruins the mood and everyone goes home. Only this time it's the internet.
Awesome! I love snow! Now you can go shovel the driveway so I can get my fucking car out and go to work! *bounces* FUCKING AWESOME BITCH!!!
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I'm on the edge of my seat here folks.
What's so scary about black history month? Racist!
That's great. I don't even want to begin to figure out what this drawing is all about. Still better than many of the photoshops on Fark.
Do people really find this journal crap interesting? Let me try.
Well today I shaved my pubic hair. That prepubescent look really gets me off. I didn't shave my asshole though because the hair acts as a kind of defense or filter. I don't want any bugs getting in there. They usually get tangled in the hair and die. I end up finding them a few days later caked in shit and mucus. What else happend today? Oh! John came over and we had the most intense dominatrix session ever. He brought some frozen steaks and slapped my ass hard with them. There was something else today but I don't want to say because I'm an FBI agent and I could lose my job and be brought up on charges in front of the grand jury. Now why aren't I asleep again?
Wow, that's a load off!
It's even more exciting when these girls use vague wording to make their horrible entries even more exciting. Fortunately I know the real deal here. See, "that one kid" is Josh. He's a senior in high school actually. He knocked up "rinlynn" in the back of his Ford F10 Pickup that his parents bought him. Yeah the one with the hemi. Anyway, he pressured "rinlynn" to get an abortion by threatening her family and friends. She finally did and went into seclusion. Her grades dropped and so did her self esteem. "a kid's" name is Joey, a creepy goth kid who plays by his own rules. He's going to teach her how to love again. Unfortunately he's exactly the same as Josh and they both plan to double team her in the boy's locker room after school. They are going to bully her into prostitution and pimp her out to horny business men who have the money and power to keep her quiet. This is the real deal folks. Now isn't that more interesting? We could produce a Lifetime movie out of her story and maybe six people will watch it. It will be their highest rated program ever!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.