I've said it before and I'll say it again, people who shit their pants have great comedic tastes.
Uhm, I don't know, do your taxes?
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A BOY GROWS UP WITHOUT A FATHER.
Notice that in all of these stories a father is never mentioned. COINCIDENCE?! I think not!
I weep for humanity.
Whatever you say "Scott". I'll shoot off an email right away!
Why? Because I'm a fucking freak!
"Prince Poop-A-Lot" is a true hero.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
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