Do us all a favor and stick his penis into a blender. Hachi machi!
The excitement of penetration causes you to spontaneously urinate. Use this to your advantage!
This is one of those things that I can explain. It's just funny.
Definitive proof that the sex education program is a complete and utter failure.
The Barbershop is back in business.
Does that thing have a hemi?! ZERO PERCENT APR? WHERE DO I SIGN OVER THE DEED TO MY HOUSE?
OVULATE, DAMN YOU, OVULATE!!!
Ninety percent of these captions are based on whatever is currently on the television.
She's going to hell.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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