Do us all a favor and stick his penis into a blender. Hachi machi!
The excitement of penetration causes you to spontaneously urinate. Use this to your advantage!
This is one of those things that I can explain. It's just funny.
Definitive proof that the sex education program is a complete and utter failure.
The Barbershop is back in business.
Does that thing have a hemi?! ZERO PERCENT APR? WHERE DO I SIGN OVER THE DEED TO MY HOUSE?
OVULATE, DAMN YOU, OVULATE!!!
Ninety percent of these captions are based on whatever is currently on the television.
She's going to hell.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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