Congratulations! Here are some jokes about sex stuff - including sex!
Please don't try these at home.
A THRILLING article that will leave you ASTONISHED! [That's how noir taglines read, I think. Sorry.]
Remember that dog that played basketball. From the 90s. He's back
Me: 6'6" lumberjack I'm 6' tall the other measurement isn't overstatement You: 3 foot tall woman with a flat head for me to put my beer on, no teeth
Me: [in the car, driving away] Smoking weed with grandma is funny
Waiting for Godot: Two guys look up sports scores on their phones for two acts.
911: hello yes this is 911
Like stand-up comedians, but they're sitting down, instead. Do you get it please?
Want to play along at home? Write your answers on a postcard and send them to [continued inside article]
Two hits. Me hitting you. You hitting the floor.
My computer is really tiny and hard to use!
Jack Nance was handsome. He looked like the the guy on the cover of the book. The guy on the horse. The other guy on the cover is Travis.
Idleness grows from heresy Jerry. FROM HERESY!
The last part of all your favorite films, such as [trails off awkwardly]
Things about college you wish you'd known before you went!
WARNING: The following stories are grody.
Declared a national bird today, but then it flew off.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND. IT'S NOT REAL ADVICE)
Finally, a web article all about computers...
a drive-through car dealership, where you don't even have to get out of your car to get into another car
Sitting in your office running your window glass pane moving business.
Selling objects to the past, lighters, weed, etc. Pretty intriguing stuff. Hard sci-fi concepts. Imagine selling drugs and crap to a guy from the past... pretty insane. That's basically what this article is all about
There is literally nothing sexier than eye contact.
This card game? Kekeke... let's just say it's not exactly Uno... *smirks evilly*
Me!! I do!! Just kidding guys I know it was a rhetorical question
The Loser: show up in roller skates
with a slight motion of his hands, he appeared to remove and then reattach his thumb repeatedly
am i tired? damn right I am. Tired of getting old.
The latest and hottest reviews of THE best airports to cry in!
Who's the best man? Who's the best man? You are! You know you are!
Look to your left! Now look to your right! By the end of the year, one or more of these people will probably be your best friend! Any questions?
RIP me died from stepping on a single 1x1 lego block
Although I can see how you might think that.
goku hears a wolf howl and joins in for three straight episodes
day 2: still working on the car
a steam plugin that automatically installs all the nude anime mods for every game that has them (which is literally every game on pc) and then calls the police on you
Groundhog Day stars Bill Murray who plays a TV weatherman. He visits the town of Punxsutawney to report on Groundhog day. He wakes up at 6 AM, learns some new skills, falls in love with his producer Rita and decides to move to Punxsutawney permanently.
Real stories from real emergency medical professionals! Wow!
It's a room full of monkeys on typewriters, and they solve crimes
Rated R for fantasy violence, extreme language, and a dude's weiner on page 7
that was a touching moment of silence for the player from when the football transmuted into a bowling ball in mid flight
Ted Cruz you just can't take a hint. This is truly foul. You are a beast. Nno
GMOs altering every aspect of our lives... not that hard to imagine
[Dumbass voice] Dog!! Dog! DOg!! Dog!!!
Reptilian Golem: these guys appear whenever you call 911. Small chance they will become enraged if you look at the badge number
the usual snacks have been replaced by rat poison. a huge axe is precariously hanging over my chair. what could the dm be up to this time?
Like Life Hacks, but for driving! I invented that. "Drive Hacks".
Words replaced with other words! A true revolution - in words!
[sincerely] Don't do drugs.
Watch 2D doodles turn into 3D planes before your eyes, and then watch those planes explode!
None of these are the one where it says "My mom and dad fight a lot", sorry.