Frequently Asked Questions

Read all of these before ever thinking that you should contact us! Seriously. But first... have you read the forum rules today?

Help Topics

Newbie Questions

How do I register an account?
You may purchase an account using any major credit card. You must have a valid email address to receive your login information and registration. You can try using "gift cards" - some work and some do not.
How do I upgrade my account to Platinum?
You may purchase a Platinum upgrade using any major credit card.
How do I change my custom title?
Click here. Custom titles must be no larger than 125x125 pixels and less than 30kb in size. It may include an image, text, or both. Please do not use any images that wouldn't be safe to view at work.
How do I change somebody else's custom title?
Click here. Custom titles must be no larger than 125x125 pixels and less than 30k in size. It may include an image, text, or both. While you can make the custom title as insulting as you want, please do not use any images that wouldn't be safe to view at work.
How do I use vB code?
Here is a complete list of all commands.
How do I use smilie faces and emoticons?
Here is a complete list of those horrid things.
Why are there so many rules?
With over 10,000 users online at peak times, we have to painfully explain each and every aspect of common sense and acceptable behavior because if we miss one single point, people will claim that it was not covered in the rules and therefore they shouldn't be punished for it. If you want a summary of the rules, here it is: DON'T BE A JERK. That is all; use common sense, don't be a troll, and keep the forums clean. These are the SA Forum rules. If you don't agree with them, you can leave or refuse to register an account. If you break any of these rules, then you will be forced to leave. It's quite simple.

Account Upgrade Questions

I just bought Platinum, why can't I view archived threads?
Hey pudding head, archives and platinum are two separate account upgrades!
My account has archives access, but I cannot view archived threads! WHY?
First, make sure your account has archives privileges by visiting this page. If you still can't view a particular thread, it may be locked by an administrator or otherwise not available.
How do I browse archived threads?
Years ago archived stuff was kept on a separate site. Today its all available from the main forums. To browse archived threads, just use the archives date chooser located at the top of every forum to select a date. When viewing a forum archive, the top of the thread list will be red instead of blue. To go back to the live forums, just click the "Remove" button in the archives date chooser. Note that any time you click on an archived thread linked anywhere, it will pop right up just like any other thread. No special steps required!

Advertising Questions

Q: Can I advertise on SA?
A: Yes, please contact to discuss purchasing advertising for either the Something Awful website or the SA Forums.
Q: How do I report an aggravating advertisement I saw?
A: We do not allow annoying advertisement's, such as those that play sounds, create popups, or sell ringtones. You can report such ads in this thread.
Q: Can I advertise in my forums profile or signature or make a post to advertise something?
A: You can only advertise commercially in SAMart. Read the forum rules.

Forum Drama

Q: I did not pay $10 to be insulted, please ban the guy picking on me.
A: Moderators patrol for drama and handle it as they see fit. Do not submit a support request relating to your forum drama.
Q: Someone paid $10 and changed my custom title to a big elephant phallus after I paid $5 to change it myself, this is bullshit! Change it back!
A: Yes. No.
Q: I bought a manilla envelope full of pudding from some guy in SAMart and he never shipped it to me!
A: Read the SAMart rules. We are not liable for any transactions you conduct there. Your business is between you and the buyer/seller, we are not involved in any way and you should not contact us about it.


How does SA use my personal information?
We use your information to conduct payment transactions that you authorize whenever you purchase services, and to validate you as the purchaser of those services (ie, if you lose your password). We do not sell your information (including email addresses) to any third party.
Is my personal information secure?
We take security very seriously. Customer data is stored on a firewalled server and is accessible only by SA employees. We conduct PCI compliancy audits as required by our merchant services provider to help ensure your data is safe. During payment transactions, your data is transmitted to our payment processor over an encrypted connection.
What information is stored about me as a visitor?
We record log data for web requests, which includes only public information your web browser sends to us. This includes IP address, what resource you are requesting, your user agent, and other such parameters.
What information is stored about me as a customer?
When purchasing things, we store your name and address, the last four digits of your credit card number, and your IP address. We do not store full credit card numbers.

SA Store and Purchasing Questions

Q: I bought a gift certificate, but the person I sent it to has not received it (or I'm an idiot and entered the wrong email!)
A: You can lookup your gift certificate here and then send it wherever you'd like. We will not resend the certificate.
Q: My credit card keeps getting rejected, but I know it's valid because I just purchased $500 worth of tires and anime wallscrolls with it!
A: Our credit card system just processes what the bank tells us. There's absolutely nothing we can do about it if you're being rejected. Try using a different card. Or, call your bank and tell them that AVS is failing for your card and you want to make sure that your address is up to date in their system.
Q: My purchase was declined, but I see charges on my credit card from you guys!
A: Those are not charges, they are 'authorization holds' that are placed on your card to verify that funds are available. The hold is not a complete transaction and we have not collected funds for it. After the hold is made, we check your address and other purchase information. If the purchase fails, we will not collect on that transaction, and it will eventually be removed from your statement. This can take a day or two weeks, it just depends on your bank's policies and how long it keeps 'unsettled' holds on your account. If you are concerned, call your bank and they can verify that the transaction is 'unsettled', meaning that we have not removed the funds from your account.
Q: I ordered a cup in 2002 and have not received it, how do I get a refund?
A: You should contact us as soon as possible if there is a problem with any merchandise order. We literally cannot process refunds beyond 90 days after the original transaction date, so do not wait.
Q: I got billed multiple times! What gives?
A: Usually, these are just authorization holds that are left on your account for whatever reason. See the response to the question above this one. If your bank verifies these charges are 'settled', contact us and we will gladly answer any questions you have regarding this. You will always be sent an email receipt for each and every transaction in which we collect funds from you.
Q: I just purchased an insulting custom title for another user, letting the entire forums know he enjoys his own father's penis. Why isn't it showing up?
A: Custom title changes can take anywhere from 10 minutes to 10 hours depending on when an admin clears them. This is to ensure somebody doesn't add any malicious HTML code or 500-point font about Limp Bizkit. This also applies to user name changes and banner ads.
Q: When will my username change take place?
A: When an admin approves it.
Q: I only have a Paypal account or some weird foreign debit card that's accepted at six locations, all of which are on Mars. Can I use this card to buy an account?
A: No, we only accept the major credit cards and do not currently accept Paypal or debit cards. If you have a problem with your non-US card, we're sorry.
Q: Shit, I made a typo in my forums account-related purchase, can you fix it?
A: Probably not. Wipe the cheese off your fingers and be more careful next time.
Q: It's been eight days, when will my SA merchandise arrive?!
A: As stated on the order page, you should allow 2-6 weeks for delivery. Orders are sent via US Postal Service. We do not have tracking information for shipments.

Forum Account Questions

Q: Help! I forgot my password! What is it?
A: I don't know, click here.
Q: I changed email addresses but never got my email verifying the change! What happened?
A: Our password system sends out passwords every time the email is changed on an account. Unfortunately, some ISPs have anti-spam filters installed on users' accounts without them even knowing. These helpful, wonderful pieces of software automatically block and delete our verification emails. In short, we cannot email you because your email account is deleting the verification emails. Verizon is one of the worst offenders, and we suggest choosing another email service, preferably one that doesn't decide which emails you should and shouldn't receive. The only solution is to turn off your anti-spam filters and request your password be sent again, or call up your ISP and ask them to stop deleting your email.
Q: How can I change my avatar and add a custom title?
A: You have to purchase a title change. Check the top of the forums for a link to buy forums stuff.
Q: Can you change my username?
A: No, but you can pay to change it. Check the top of the forums for a link to buy forums stuff.
Q: I registered an account approximately 68 years ago and I cannot remember the username, password, or email address for it! Can you send it to me?
A: If you are locked our of your account, for any reason, you can use the Account Recovery Tool to submit a request for recovery.
Q: My account was hijacked by some kind of hacker or phishing scam or something! What do I do?
A: We'll give you your account back if you can prove you own it. To do that, contact support.

Punishment Issues

Q: I got banned and my custom title and platinum are now gone!
A: Don't get banned next time. Read the forum rules carefully.
Q: Some asshole 'autobanned' me, this is bullshit!
A: Read the rules. The forums banned you on its own because you did something stupid. Don.t be stupid.
Q: OMG, I got banned or put on probation by some admin for absolutely no reason, I demand you reverse this immediately!
A: There.s always a reason. We are not going to reverse it for you. Read the rules again.
Q: How come I got banned or put on probation!?
A: You were probably an idiot. Punishment reasons are listed in the Leper.s Colony, accessible at the top of the forums. We aren.t going to reverse it, don't ask.
Q: I spent 90 minutes writing a post and it got gassed. It was shaping up to be a great thread, please put it back and reopen it!
A: Your thread sucked. Do not repost your stupid thread.

Forums Cancer

Q: Why do I have "forums cancer"?
A: You posted in a RFA subforum despite the warning on the posting screen.
Q: What happens when I have "forums cancer"?
A: A variety of annoying things. Staying in RFA will minimize your exposure to cancer side effects.
Q: How do I get rid of "forums cancer"?
A: Stop posting in RFA. Cancer will eventually go away on its own as long as you stop posting there. If you want to rid yourself of cancer immediately, you can purchase a forums chemo treatment. You still must stop posting in RFA or the cancer will quickly return.