11-28-2000: They Meddled With The Wrong Person This Time!! Jed here. I finally finished up my bio so Squonkamatic and his goons will quit bugging me about posting it. I wrote it entirely in the third person, which is apparently the "cool" thing to do these days: Jed is an avid Quake2 mapper whose vast body of work of work includes such masterpieces as "Burlap Sack Fragfest 3000" and some other crappy level intended to be vaguely based upon this website. He only makes levels for Quake2 because he knows for a fact that it's the only good fps that's ever been created in the entire history of the human race. He originally wanted to do Quake2 reviews here at the Whorehouse but since some other chucklehead was already covering the game he ended up reviewing shitty Half-Life maps instead. Cranky Steve figured that Jed would be perfect for the job since Jed has always hated Half-Life mapping, Half-Life, and pretty much everything in general. One thing's for sure, Half-Life reviewing just got a whole lot zanier! - Jed 11-21-2000: We Smell A Rat: The following email showed up in my inbox the other day in reference to our review of map making legend Mittenz' "Waterword" From your screen shots and general description, I think the waterword map may well be a ripoff of my 14yr old nephew's first efforts with a map editor; it sounds awfully familiar. I mention this to you because he told me he'd uploaded his effort "to the net", and from your comments about the putative author of this map I suspected you might want to add plagarism to his list of credits if it's indeed justified. -Mark Lamb Thanx much for your alert detection of yet another example to the depths of depravity that this insane axe murdering map making crackhead will take when churning out his visions of madness. Now we find out he is ripping off 14 year old school kids for ideas -- what WILL he come up with next? Squonkamatic 10-24-2000: Please Welcome Two New Members! Cranky Steve is proud to announce two new members to the staff of the Whorehouse. The first fleshbag is Bezzy, who sent in this wonderful description of himself: Bezzy (AKA PainBerry) has been a part of the Quake community for a good 4 years now. He is the creater of Leper Quake 2 and Matrix Quake 2 and has around 7 new modifcations in development with his modding team Mad | Logic including the ground breaking WallMatch SDK. He has so far racked up 3 Mod of the Week awards at PlanetQuake, making him joint record holder for such awards. He has had industry experience at Crytek Studios doing design work on their Enaglus FPS game, but quit to persue less creatively stinting alternatives to game design (ie modding, where you don't have to worry about selling units or being racist). Blah blah blah... the damn description went on for hours. To tell the truth, I didn't even read all of that. The point is he's going to be reviewing game mods (particularly Quake 3: Arena mods), so if you have a lead on a particularly terrible mod, send the link to him. Next up is Jed, who is our dedicated Half-Life map reviewer. Folks, we know there's a shitload of crummy Half-Life maps out there. Find some links to the worst ones and ship the suckers off to Jed. He likes the pain. Luckily, he didn't send in a description of himself, so I don't have to use any energy cutting and pasting his crap. See you later, suckers. - Cranky Steve