IMPORATANT EXLUSEIVE INTARVIEW
CHRIS DONAHUE OF NVIDIA!!!!
helo readars! Once again, I haev scooped all othar sites with my qualeity journalisms and skiled prose!!! EAT MY DUST INSCITE MAGAZINE!!!! I haev intarviewed Chris Donohue of nVidia. They made the TNT card and teh TNT 2 card and teh LeForce and teh LeForce 2 card and soem othar crap (i cant remembar what). Teh LeForce card si fastar than a Vodoo5, and if yuo buiy a VOodoo 5 card then Brian Buarke comes ovar to yuor house and tries too sleep on yuor couch!!!!! BAD NEWS!!! so here si my intarview, and if yuo are anothar big smarty man gameing person, emale me and maeybe I intarview yuo and maybe I dont becuase Im busey lately and DONT HAEV TIEM!!!
JEFF K!!! - OKEY, who ares yuop and what do yuo do?/
Chris - I'm Chris Donahue and I'm the Manager of Developer Relations at Nvidia. I get to visit all the top game developers and tell them about all the cool stuff that Nvidia is doing.
JEFF K!!! - what abouts teh bottom gaem deveolopars, do yuo visit them>?
Chris - No, they are too hard to find, being on the bottom and all.
JEFF K!!! - no, theyre easey, just look for teh peaople wearing "SOUTH PEAKE INTARACTIVE" shirts
JEFF K!!! - THEYRE IN TEH BIG RED BUILDING
JEFF K!!! - NEAR WALL MART
JEFF K!!! - CANT MISS IT, CHRIS
Chris - Most of them don't need a cool 3D card like Geforce2 :)
JEFF K!!! - maeks teh deer fastar in "Deer HUntar 3", whi\ith a bettar cards, SUPAR DEER right?
Chris - Yes, we are currently working on a specific deer accelerator, they will be so fast you can't even see them!
JEFF K!!! - WOW, I GOTS INSIDE SCOOP! YUO HEEARD IT HERE FIRST
Chris - Yep, and you can quote me on that!
JEFF K!!! - no!!!
JEFF K!!! - So how do yuo make video cards? with yuor hands??
Chris - No, we use big machines that have lots of blinking lights and use a ton of gears and there's a big funnel where a guy shovels in sand.
JEFF K!!! - not coal??
Chris - no, that would be for diamonds...
JEFF K!!! - OH DIAMOND VIPER V550?
Chris - Yeah, but they don't make those anymore, so we use sand now.
JEFF K!!! - Shows how sucesfull yuor cards are then!!!
JEFF K!!! - HA HA !!!!
Chris - Just the chips, we don't make the cards.
JEFF K!!! - HA HA
JEFF K!!! - SHUT UP
JEFF K!!! - So how comes yuor smarty man cards dont use Glaide? With Glaide I can get 60000 FPS on INCOMING
Chris - Really? Wow, that's great. We don't use glide because it's a proprietary API... we only use industry standards like OpenGL and D3D.
JEFF K!!! - why dont use yuor own, maek yuor own API? OpenL33T?
Chris - Well, we actually do have our own API, and you were quite perceptive on what the name is... it's actually l33tGL...
JEFF K!!! - WOW, 700000 FPS on Incomeing?
JEFF K!!! - HOLY MOELY