LOOK AT TEH UPCOMEING CONSOUL WARES!!!!!!!!1
AS yuo haev probaly noticed, I have not updated my WEBPAEG
in a vary long tiem!!! thes si becuase I was BUSSEY LIEK A
BUG and working vary hard! I gots a job workeing at teh Vons
grocarey store in Lancastar and I works a lot there! I push
carts into teh creek and eat candy all day!!! AND then my
boss Mistar Milkweek says "JEFF K YUO GET BACK TOO WORK
OR IM GOING TO FIER YUO!" and I say "OKAY MR. MILKWEEK"
and then I go into teh parking lot and push more carts into
teh creak! But now I finally wrote a colaumn about TEH UPCOMEING
CONSOULS so yuo know witch too buys, teh Snoy Playstatian
2, Gamecube, or whatevar that othar one is by Microsoft, the
Ex Box or whatevar. so hear it is!!!!
LOOK AT THE SONEY PLAYSTARTIAN 2!!!
Platstatian 2 is teh sequal too teh Playstatian 1 which was
made by Snoy. They used to make car stereos and CD playars
and hairdryers but then they decided to makes a GAME MACHENE
becuase 3D0 and NEOGEO were makeing video game machenes too
and hey, yuor machene cant get any crappyier than those. Soon
Snoy made teh Playstatian and nobodey baught it, but then
peopel started buying it becuase drugs dealers playaed them
allot. DRUG DEALERS AND FOOTBALL PLAYARS SAY "Hey I just
scored a touchdown and sold a pound of crack, NOW LETS PLAY
GRAND TOURISTMO!!! LEGEND 7!!!" All teh games for teh
Playstartian are in Japaneese becuase the Japanese are geting
lazy and dont bothar translating games to AMERMICAN anymore
becuase drugs dealars and football playars cant reads anyways.
teh Playstatian solds a lot of machenes becuase of an agressive
marketing stragety and becuase drug dealers have a lot of
money from PIMPIN HORSE!!! I MEAN HORS!!! OR HOWEVAR YUO SPELL
IT!!! then the Japsanese saids that they should probaly build
anothar one because the Playstatian 1 has PIXELS TEH SIZE
OF BUMPER CARS and so they builds teh Playah Hatah Statian
2 for rap stars and drugs dealars and retired football heros.
PS2, or Playstartin 2 as I calls it, costs $299.91 and yuo
cant buy it anywhere except ebay because they made a deal
with Snoy too only make 9 units and sell them through eBay.
Then eBay buys them and makes teh price $200,000 and rappers
and computar nerds buy them becuase they get a lot of moneys
from playaing teh ponys. The PLS2 can play Playstatian 1 games
but why would yuo want too becuase theyre all games about
Japaneese guys with long hair and a GIANT SWORD TO SAVE TEH
WORALD FROM TEH SPACE GRUBS!!11 and roll playing games too
which are equalley for peopal of teh fagort variety:
CLOWN: "WE MUST SAVE TEH EARTH!"
JAPENESE HERO: "yes I will uses magic to fireball
teh king's army"
HE SHOTS FIREBALLS
CAST A SPELL
WITH BUG EYES: "yuo saved teh world now hear si
anothar movie to watch"
all the games are just movies too watch that yuo cant control!
BECAUSE DRUGS DEALARS AND RAP STARS ARE TOO HIGH AS A KITE
TO MASH BUTTONS AND PALAY TEH GAME!!!!!!~
are not maney games for teh Platstaitan 2 becuase nobody lieks
too program for it becuase Snoy WONT TELL ANYBODY HOW THERE
CODE WORKS!!! TRADE INDUSTRY SECRAT!!! teh programmers sends
an emale to Snoy asking "Please Mr. Sony, tell me how
to make teh color green" and then they get an emale back
saying "GO FALL OFF TEH EARTH, DINOSAUR JERK" becuase
Snoy only wants movies to be made fro teh Playstatian 2, not
games. thats why it palays DVDs and FINAL FANTAPESTRY 13561
witch si just a movie about transvestiets with HATS/ also
all teh games flicker and look liek turds because Soney wants
a TRIPPY EXPERIENCE for teh druggies.
GAMES FOR PLAYSTATIANS 2:
dont know what they are, they all sounds liek some shit. except
GAUNTLET which is a wondarful engineering feat becuase yuo
can shoot teh food! WIZARD SHOT TEH FOOD! I shot teh food
all the tiem when Jerry was playaing and about to died, then
a ghost flew into him and he died and I threw a book at his
head and Jerry ran home and fell down on teh way!!! WHAT A
HEAR AND READS ABOUT GAMMECUBE!