WHY YUO SHOULD NEVAR INSTALL DIRECT X 8.0 OR AND MICROSOFT IS SUCKS!!! ANYWAYS!!!
By Jeff K. Mastar of Computar Machenes and superhero of JUSTICE POWAR! 11-14-2000

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HIS HEAD WONT STOP GROWING with powar he must be defeated with lassers!!!

REcenetley Bill Gates anounced Direct X 8.0 at Condex and he says too evarybody download DirectX 8! because maney peopel are puppets and areant smarat and discriminateing liek me, they do what Billt Gates says because theyre LIVING A FALSE LIE!!! But not me! I am COMPUTAR WIZZARD and perform AMAZGING STUNTS WITH TEH COMPUTAR MACHENE liek Quake 3 Areana and MEMMAKER! So I called up Jerry and Jerry wasnt hoem becuase he was out ice skating with his sistar. It was her birthday tooday but she wouldant let me go to her party becuase of teh time I was spending the night ovar at Jerrys house and she was sleeping and I tried too smashes a bug on her hair!!! there was a spidar and I tryed to kill it but she thought I was smelling her hair and rubbing it on my FACE AND THATS JUST STUPED!1 there was a beetal and I was trying too kills it and if somebodey tells yuo Otharwise, they are LYING AND WANT TO BESMIRCH MY NAME so dont listen to them. ESPECIALLY NOT REGAN FROM SCHOOL SHE SI A LIAR!!!!!

so hear I am will writes about DIRECT X 8.0 so yuo will be armed with knowlege!!! onto teh INFORMATIVE ARTICAL, gents!

 

PART 1: WHAT IS DIRECT x?!?!!?!?

Direct X was programed by Bill Gates so Lunix usars couldant palay Minesweepar. BILL Gates wanted a monopololy on games so Lunix and Macintops couldant play teh games anymore and evarybody has too uses a PC for teh next Quaek 4: QUAKE IN SPACE!!! so he says "okeys, I am a clown boat" and they did and named it direct X becuase that means:

DIRECT = I dont know
X = I dont know, something misterious probaly
8 = teh numbar 8, that means it took them 8 tries too get it right~

So I dont know what Direct X stands for it si a secrat that I;ll haev to uncovar next tiem I HAX0R INTO MISCROSOFT!!! but Dilect X is suppossed to make yuor games play bettar liek GLAIDE from 3DFX but if yuo ask me GLADE si much bettar becuase its by 3DFX and evarything they maek is soem crazzey genus product for teh hardcore GAMMERS liek myself. Gilde is bettar than direct X becuase sometiems when Jerry si playing games liek Quaek 3 Arena he thinks hes really there and he gets scared and starts too cries!!! Howevar, when yuo play in Glide games, yuo dont think yuor realley there because theres horiziontal lines all ovar yuor screen and it looks liek a cat turd racetrack so Jerry dosent cry nearly as much except when I hit him with teh joystick/

Thes is not Direct8 X but yuo get teh point it uses PETIUM too tho

Direct X is called a "API" which stands for "APPLICATIAN PROGRAMMING MACHENE GAME CODE" and companys liek Id software and that companey thats making "RETURN TO TEH BUFFET AT CASTEL WOLFENSTEINE" uses it too makes there games. It contains code liek:

and maney othar things.

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