http://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.en-usjeffreyofyospos+editor@gmail.comjeffreyofyospos+rsssupport@gmail.comFri, 09 Apr 2021 04:59:52 GMTweb2.0rss.com.farthttp://www.somethingawful.com/static.somethingawful.com/img/logo-rss.pnghttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/14455http://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/shitty-baby/I'm so sick of this baby's shit. This baby needs to be put on BLAST.nicklarklives@gmail.com (Nick Lives)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15374/Mon, 25 May 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/redesign-logos/A mermaid lady in a green circle. What about this makes me hungry for a nice cup of joe?nicklarklives@gmail.com (Nick Lives)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15366/Mon, 18 May 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/pimp-meme-swag/My meme swagger is unstoppable. The ladies want my penis, and the engineers can't handle my drip.buck.tf.wilde@gmail.com (Buck T.F. Wilde)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15340/Tue, 21 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/quarantine-blues/quarantine is lame. everettbyram@gmail.com (Everett "Rad Milk" Byram)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15342/Tue, 21 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/insult/A journey to stop a bully has unintended emotional consequences.evanhoovler@gmail.com (Evan "Drunk Nerds" Hoovler)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15327/Thu, 09 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/become-chill/I am Chill. I was not always so. If anger rides you like a hateful steed, then friend, follow my ways.maltpoet@gmail.com (Malt Schlitzmann)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15309/Tue, 07 Apr 2020 18:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/zen-kitchen/Home cooking doesn’t have to be a chore, it can also free your energies from the husks that bind us.nicklarklives@gmail.com ("Starlight" Diane)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15307/Mon, 06 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/sorry-for-musk2/There we both were, opting to let the free market do what it does best — provide, devoid of scruples, even the most reprehensible and insane services to the extravagantly wealthy. mattjohnryan7@gmail.com (Townsend Reed)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15319/Sun, 05 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/hitler-plots/Especially Sunrise Elementary School, they need a LOT more plots to kill Hitlerevanhoovler@gmail.com (Evan "Drunk Nerds" Hoovler)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15312/Thu, 02 Apr 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/bad-faith-discourse/Do you want to use language to confuse, misdirect, and annoy? Do you long to sew chaos and discord in your social media feed? Does the idea of insulting your dearest friends elicit in you a breathy "huzzah!"? You, my friend, have the makings of a fine keyboard warrior, if you're brave enough to face the challenges which await you. . . maltpoet@gmail.com (Phiz Kalifa)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15300/Wed, 25 Mar 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/death-surprisingly-hilarious/Now, I don't mean this in an edgy or mean way. We've all been through the normal stages of grief and there's nothing at all funny about them. But, towards the end of my dad's battle with cancer, there were many extremely abnormal occurrences that made me stop and laugh...evanhoovler@gmail.com (Evan "Drunk Nerds" Hoovler)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15292/Fri, 20 Mar 2020 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/awful-merchandise/What's cooler than spending your hard-earned cash on a bunch of crap with the sole purpose of turning you into a walking website advertisement? NOTHING, THAT'S WHAT.webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/15025/Fri, 15 Jun 2018 12:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/ben-garrison-explained2/Please make this man stop producing comics, because honestly I swear to Christ he is responsible for murdering my goddamn brain.webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/14848/Mon, 21 Aug 2017 13:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/ben-garrison-explained/The highly complex and detailed world of Ben Garrison's political creations are finally broken down for you, the viewers!webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/14845/Wed, 16 Aug 2017 11:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/ultimate-pua-guide/Get any woman you want, any time you want, by learning these TOP SECRET 100% GUARANTEED TRICKS THAT WILL WORK ON ANY WOMAN EVER!!!webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/14487/Wed, 31 Aug 2016 06:30:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/emergency-alert-warning/1/You probably will not be seeing any of these alerts, but it's good to be prepared.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13551/Thu, 11 Sep 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/sims-week-four/1/Strange things are tiny afoot in the lands of the Sims 4.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13538/Thu, 04 Sep 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/allgroanup-cartoons/1/Get your reaction GIFs ready, this clickbait is gonna SHOCK you! SO MUCH. YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXTshmorky@somethingawful.com (BIZZFIZZ)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13528/Sun, 31 Aug 2014 22:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/kotaku-controversy-gonzo/The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13523/Thu, 28 Aug 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/ditka-redskins-racist/Former Bears coach Mike Ditka has opinions about more than just the Redskins name.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Mike Ditka)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13510/Thu, 21 Aug 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/israel-red-pill/Are you ready for the truth about Israel? Probably not.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13483/Thu, 07 Aug 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/tech-industry-troll/You've been wondering. Now you can finally get the answers about John Galt.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (John Galt)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13455/Thu, 24 Jul 2014 05:30:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/it-is-repulsa/We found this sort of orb. Egg maybe? I dunno. It is what it is.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13441/Thu, 17 Jul 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/endless-slideshow-vortex/1/We have made this slideshow of celebrities without make up. Good luck to you.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13413/Thu, 03 Jul 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/terry-richardson-creep/A rock and roll fashion photographer being creepy with models? Yes, it can happen. It has happened. The nightmare is real. I'm sorry.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13385/Thu, 19 Jun 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/true-detective-hogan/1/When confronted with a string of dead Nitro Girls, veteran grapplers Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage join forces to solve the crime.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13373/Thu, 12 Jun 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/slenderman-comics/Here are some comics about Slenderman. Have at it, globules.shmorky@somethingawful.com (Shmendlerman)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13357/Wed, 04 Jun 2014 21:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/false-flag-youtube/Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans. He is one step ahead of them at every turn.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13256/Thu, 17 Apr 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/dumpster-diving-realm/Go on the adventure of a lifetime in your neighborhood dumpster.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Bryce and Danny)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13227/Thu, 03 Apr 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/copenhagen-zoo-marius/In order to make a brand omelet, you're going to have to break a few giraffes and lions.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13213/Thu, 27 Mar 2014 06:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/epic-feels/1/You'd better be prepared for the most epic Feels of 2014.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13096/Thu, 30 Jan 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/car-faces/1/Cars have faces and they look stupid.shmorky@somethingawful.com (CARtoon PERson)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13087/Sun, 26 Jan 2014 21:30:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/male-gamers-only/1/Gamer? Male? Congratulations, you are wanted to save the kingdom with your balls.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13081/Thu, 23 Jan 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/heavy-sexy-list/1/Heavy.com's horny readers get tipped off on all the hottest action coming out of the House Committee on Armed Services.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13067/Thu, 16 Jan 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/dennis-rodman-korea/America's #1 ambassador to Korea takes a shot at explaining his mission of peace and birthday wishes.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13053/Thu, 09 Jan 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/matt-yglesias-slate/1/We look back on a miserable year of Slate writer and twitter sensation Matt Yglesias. zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13039/Thu, 02 Jan 2014 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/hitler-2014-year/Who will be named 2014's Hitler? You might just know next year's Hitler better than you think!zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13025/Thu, 26 Dec 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/athlete-logos-branding/1/Athletes are helping to boost their brand identity and overall swagger klout with fresh logos from top tier design firms. These 9 logos will blow your brains out through your balls!zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13011/Thu, 19 Dec 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/mandela-sign-language/The sign language interpreter from the Mandela memorial tries to explain himself the only way he knows how.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Thamsanqa Jantjie)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12996/Thu, 12 Dec 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/internet-outrage-buzzfeed/1/Were you enjoying your day? STOP IT! There is some outrageous crap going on that you need to be mad about immediately.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12982/Thu, 05 Dec 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/mike-tyson-undisputed/1/Mike Tyson's new memoir is a raw account of the life of boxing's most controversial cannibal.Mike Tyson's new memoir is a raw account of the life of one of boxing's most controversial cannibals.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12953/Thu, 21 Nov 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/buzz-list-fails/1/You are not going to believe the FAILS of some people on their wedding day.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12924/Thu, 07 Nov 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/night-vale-34/Welcome to Night Vale returns with a new episode including the work of Zack Parsons. zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12911/Fri, 01 Nov 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/tech-journalism-military/America's fawning tech journalists take a turn at covering America's wars. It's not like anybody else was covering them.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12908/Thu, 31 Oct 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/donald-glover-sad/1/Stressed out Gambino Donald Glover posted some strangeness to Instagram and he's not the only one.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12880/Thu, 17 Oct 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/abandoned-places-awesome/1/We count down 11 awe-inspiring abandoned places that you will wish you could see before you die. zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12866/Thu, 10 Oct 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/grand-theft-docile/You have machine gunned hundreds, beaten innocent bystanders to death, fondled creepy boobs, and crashed a dealership's worth of cars. Now what? The ultimate GTA thrill revealed. zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12821/Thu, 19 Sep 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/vladimir-putin-nyt/Russian President Vladimir Putin weighs in on the Syria crisis and America's role in the world.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (VLADIMIR V. PUTIN)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12807/Thu, 12 Sep 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/tech-burning-man/1/The hottest deals in tech were being made at this year's Burning Man Festival. Find out who what new tech secured big attention from investors.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12792/Thu, 05 Sep 2013 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/life-hacks-list/1/15 helpful hacks so simple you won't believe you have been living without them.zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12765/Thu, 22 Aug 2013 05:00:00 GMT