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<rss version="2.0"><channel><title>Guides - Something Awful</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/</link><description>Something Awful Guides can help you, the Internet reader, make the most out of your life and just might possibly end up getting you incapacitated or killed!</description><language>en-us</language><managingEditor>jeffreyofyospos+editor@gmail.com</managingEditor><webMaster>jeffreyofyospos+rsssupport@gmail.com</webMaster><lastBuildDate>Fri, 09 Apr 2021 05:00:47 GMT</lastBuildDate><generator>web2.0rss.com.fart</generator><image><url>http://www.somethingawful.com/static.somethingawful.com/img/logo-rss.png</url><title>Guides - Something Awful</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/</link><width>144</width><height>55</height></image><item><title>Finding the Right Healthcare Provider After a Heroic Gun Fight</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/action-movie-healthcare/</link><description>It's the middle of the night and you need ten bullets removed. Who can you trust?</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13578/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 25 Sep 2014 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The No Bullshit Steps to Total Contentment</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/true-path-serenity/</link><description>Enough fads! Follow a guaranteed path to peace and contentment. </description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/13469/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 31 Jul 2014 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Properly Using Hand Sanitizer</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/hand-sanitizer-addiction/1/</link><description>You are covered in filth at all times. Only when you are purified by the hand sanitizer will life return, briefly, to normal.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12783/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 29 Aug 2013 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The Guide to Growing Your Personal Brand</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/grow-your-brand/1/</link><description>You need to focus your crowd outreach on brand growth. The brand hungers. Nourish it.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/12736/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 08 Aug 2013 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Your Guide to Tomorrow's Olympics Coverage</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/olympics-schedule-2012/</link><description>Decide which events to watch with a little help from our guide to NBC's Olympics coverage.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11999/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 02 Aug 2012 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>A Court Watcher's Guide to the Supreme Court Ruling on Obamacare</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/supreme-court-obamacare/1/</link><description>The Supreme Court is preparing to rule on provisions within Obamacare. Find out what it all means with this handy guide.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11929/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2012 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Detaching Your Parenting</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/attachment-parenting-how/</link><description>Attachment parenting is increasingly common, but it can be harmful. Learn how to protect your child by detaching.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11900/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 14 Jun 2012 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The Hunger Guides: Your Guide to Hunger Games Guides</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/hunger-games-movie/1/</link><description>Have you been wondering where to find guides about the Hunger Games? No? Alright, nevermind.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11733/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Mar 2012 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Moving Back in with Your Parents</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/moving-back-parents/</link><description>living with your parents is normal and real cool and not gay.</description><author>daryl.f.hall@gmail.com (Daryl "Fucking" Hall)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11154/</guid><pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 01:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The Official Rapture / End of the World FAQ</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/rapture-apocalypse-guide/1/</link><description>As a selfless public service for the betterment of mankind, I have created this FAQ to help the ignorant masses by answering the most common questions or concerns regarding this incredible event; the Rapture.</description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11097/</guid><pubDate>Fri, 20 May 2011 01:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>An American Guide to the Royal Wedding</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/william-kate-wedding/1/</link><description>The royal wedding of Prince William to Kate Middleton will happen only once in a lifetime. Get all the info you need to truly enjoy it.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/11052/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 28 Apr 2011 05:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>How to Build Your Own PC</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/pc-building-guide/1/</link><description>Building your own PC is no longer a dream just out of mortal man's reach!  This helpful, instructive guide will teach you every tip and trick needed to build your very own computer in a matter of seconds!  Probably!</description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/9289/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2009 01:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Guide to Taxes</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-taxes-brackets/1/</link><description>April 19th is right around the corner and our tax guide is here in time to save you big money.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/9194/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Guide to Mommy and Daddy Wrestling Last Night</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-wrestling-mommy/1/</link><description>If you saw your mother and father fighting naked last night, then this is the guide for you. And bee man. And Detroit Steady.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/9155/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 02 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Guide to Environmentalism</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-environment-conserve/1/</link><description>A detailed guide on the how, why, and who of becoming an environmentalist. </description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/9114/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The New Voter FAQ</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/new-voting-faq/1/</link><description>An informative guide to voting for all voters who love voting on issues and people.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/8681/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The USMC Guide to Interrogating an Enemy Combatant</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-gitmo-terror/1/</link><description>A leaked copy of FM-1833 provides "Answers" on how Marines are told to handle detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. </description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/8431/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Demographics</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/demographic-politics-marketing/1/</link><description>Like it or not, you are a demographic. This handy guide will help you determine what to buy and how to vote.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/8227/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 01 May 2008 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Guide to the Sweetest Dragon Magazine Covers (R.I.P.)</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/dragon-memory-love/1/</link><description>RPG savant Steve Sumner looks back on more than nine decades of Dragon Magazine covers.</description><author>stevesumner@somethingawful.com (Steve "Malak" Sumner)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/8171/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Surviving Disney World, Part II</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/disneyworld-guide-2/1/</link><description>Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka concludes his enchanting, thrilling Disney World vacation guide which nobody will read because he speaks about himself in third person.</description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/8075/</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Mar 2008 01:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Surviving Disney World, Part I</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/disneyworld-guide-1/1/</link><description>Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka survives the horrible hardships of Disney World to bring you fellow men this exciting, informative guide of lies.</description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/8058/</guid><pubDate>Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Things You Should Already Know By Now: Opening a Checking Account</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/checking-account/1/</link><description>Here's how you open a bank account you shut in! Things You Should Already Know By Now is everything a shut in needs to know about things normal people already do on their own.</description><author>acetone@somethingawful.com (Hassan "Acetone" Mikal)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7956/</guid><pubDate>Tue, 29 Jan 2008 03:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 7</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part7/1/</link><description>The final chapter of Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag and Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7824/</guid><pubDate>Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 6</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part6/1/</link><description>Part 6 of Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag and Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7823/</guid><pubDate>Sun, 23 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 5</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part5/1/</link><description>Part 5 of Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag and Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7822/</guid><pubDate>Sat, 22 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 4</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part4/1/</link><description>Even morer from Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag and Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7821/</guid><pubDate>Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 3</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part3/1/</link><description>Even more from Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag and Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7820/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 20 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 2</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part2/1/</link><description>More from Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag &amp; Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7819/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The 2007 Holiday Skymall Strategy Guide, Part 1</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/skymall-guide-part1/1/</link><description>Part 1 of Something Awful's Exciting 2007 Holiday Gift Skymall Strategy Guide! </description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (P. Jordan Dimebag and Nick Arizona)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/7803/</guid><pubDate>Tue, 18 Dec 2007 01:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Steve's Guide to Putting Up With Your Buddy's Girlfriend</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/steves-guide-putting/1/</link><description>Steve Sumner give you an aweome guide to dealing with your best friend's new girl, even if you hate her!</description><author>stevesumner@somethingawful.com (Steve "Malak" Sumner)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/4444/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 31 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Steve’s Guide to Making a Really Sweet D&amp;D Character</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/steves-guide-making/1/</link><description>Steve Sumner which is me does a guide to making a sweet D&amp;D character. Hope you dudes enjoy it!</description><author>stevesumner@somethingawful.com (Steve "Malak" Sumner)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/4394/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 11 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Guide to the 6th Annual TrendMax Caveman Business Convention</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-6th-annual/1/</link><description>A six million year old guide to a caveman's business convention was recently discovered within a fossilized briefcase.</description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/4379/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 04 Jan 2007 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>A Guide to Understanding TV Metrics</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-understanding-tv/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/4075/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 07 Sep 2006 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Worst Case Scenario: A Gentleman’s Guide to Pessimism</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/worst-case-scenario/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/3557/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Mastering Battlefield 2</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-mastering-battlefield/1/</link><description></description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/3097/</guid><pubDate>Tue, 02 Aug 2005 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>College Cutie Survival Guide</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-college-cutie/1/</link><description></description><author>terrorsaurus@somethingawful.com (Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/3021/</guid><pubDate>Tue, 05 Jul 2005 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The Big Kid's Guide to Turtles</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-big-kids/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/2782/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 07 Apr 2005 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The Democrat's Guide to Overthrowing the Government</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-democrats-guide/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/2483/</guid><pubDate>Thu, 11 Nov 2004 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Protecting Yourself from Pornography</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-protecting-yourself/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1765/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 29 Oct 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Surviving a Hurricane</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-surviving-hurricane/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1679/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 17 Sep 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Creating Your Own Internet Fetish Subculture</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-creating-your-2/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1630/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Defeating Supernatural Monsters</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-defeating-supernatural/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1543/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 02 Jul 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Writing Erotic Fan Fiction</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-writing-erotic/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1447/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Surviving Animal Attacks</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-surviving-animal/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1417/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Surviving War in Iraq</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-surviving-war/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1365/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 26 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Fishing</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-fishing/1/</link><description></description><author>zackparsons@somethingawful.com (Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1348/</guid><pubDate>Wed, 19 Mar 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Working at Gamestop</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-working-at/1/</link><description></description><author>psychosis@somethingawful.com (Taylor "Psychosis" Bell)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1302/</guid><pubDate>Sun, 23 Feb 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>How to Survive in Any RPG</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-how-survive/1/</link><description></description><author>low_cts@somethingawful.com (Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka and CT's Stalker)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/1255/</guid><pubDate>Sun, 09 Feb 2003 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>The Amazing World of Counterstrike</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-amazing-world/1/</link><description></description><author>psychosis@somethingawful.com (Psychosis)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/395/</guid><pubDate>Fri, 20 Sep 2002 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item><item><title>Getting to Know Your Dance Dance Revolution Dancers</title><link>http://www.somethingawful.com/guides/guide-getting-know/1/</link><description></description><author>webmaster@somethingawful.com (Scott "Kung Fucious" Delbango)</author><guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.somethingawful.com/a/368/</guid><pubDate>Tue, 06 Aug 2002 00:00:00 GMT</pubDate></item></channel></rss>