About this time last week I posted my factually awesome review of the new cowboy Great Depression open-world action game Red Dead Redemption. All of the hard work I put into carefully researching the game and exploring its themes constructively paid off in the form of a flood of emails from readers. Most everyone loved the article, but a few sour apples found the review to be objectionable. This being Truth Media and all, I figured I should give some of those readers a chance to have their voices heard.
Pippdaddy didn't like the cons I listed in my article and wanted to remind me that the unimpeachable gaming media raved about Red Dead Redemption:
Subject: red dead redemption review
Your review of Red Dead Redemption has to be the worst and most naive review I have ever read in my life. The story was great and the fact you couldn't see it is sad. Top reviewers are putting this up for game of the year, and the lowest media score I've seen was a 9.5/10. If you can't see the greatness in a game like this, you shouldn't be reviewing video games. Your saying a great game that is a blast to play in single player or with many people online sucks.
This game is fantastic and your con about encouraging violence towards animals is absurd. Back in 1911 hunting was quite normal for money making and survival in the dying west. I don't know anyone playing this that has thought this is great I gotta go kill some dear and birds now. I support wildlife in real life, on video games I kill wildlife for money; its a video game. Your review has upset me and you should be ashamed of your ignorance with gaming.
Look at little miss "games don't mean anything" and his perverted animal torture simulator. Sure, Pippdaddy wouldn't hurt a bunny, but he's got no problem blasting one into giblets and slicing it open with his buck knife in a harmless video game. Don't think games reflect on your actual behavior? Allow me to recommend Baby Butthole Tickler. It's free to download and really, really fun to simulate tickling a baby's anus.
Try it out, Podner. Show it to all your friends. Just you moving the mouse around tickling a giggling baby's butt. Don't make him cry, be gentle! I'm sure all your buds will think it's way cool how you got the high score by spending hours staring at a bump-mapped tot bung.
Ever hear of a little something called "thought crime," Dr. Doolittle? Yeah, there's a reason it's illegal.
Meanwhile, the spelling bug crawled up Alayna's raunchy cunt hole and died:
|From: Alayna Alayna|
Subject: Red dead redemption
So I was going to email you to tell you how horrible your review was but i decided to not waste my time considering you do not even know the main characters actual name (John Marston, not John Madsen) Seeing as they repeat his name hundreds of times throughout the game. Did you even play the damn game? I could rant for a while longer but I will stop myself from doing so considering you probably have deleted this email by now because its so lame.
Alasagna D. Fatname pulls out the big "I don't care about what you wrote" guns for this broadside. I sympathize. I email all the c-list shit-for-brains over at Huffpo for every article about miracle diets and autism vaccines and George W. Hitler's crimes. I just don't care that much. I can also appreciate a woman with such low self esteem she writes a complaint letter and then undermines herself with the closing sentence.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.