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If
you force feed Carla Maynard rats, she eventually
starts making these really funny noises. I found
that out on accident, but it's really fucking
hilarious. If you really want to hear her make
funny noises, force feed her rats while you step
on her abdomen and twist your foot around. Make
sure you're wearing boots, and not those sissy
fruitball yuppie boots from Clownco, you have
to wear Army boots or the boots that the SWAT
team uses to kick in doors with. I tried kicking
in some guy's door one day but I missed and my
foot went through the aluminum siding on his house
and I was stuck there for like three days because
the jackass who lived there was on vacation.
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Loafy
Junior, the Appleton City Fire Department's dog.
Inside of it is at least three children who were
crying to be rescued during a housefire. I was
thinking about joining the Fire Department so
I could take the hose and water my bushes all
day for free, but then I decided I didn't want
to join because I don't want to slide down no
fucking pole with a bunch of guys wearing overalls.
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A
wild boar tries to escape my Correctional Closet
trap, but the rubber band lasso grips into her
doughy flesh and yanks her back. The Correctional
Closet can only withstand 800 pounds of weight
in it, so I had to put some reinforced lattice
under it to hold up this blubbering lump of ham.
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Fuck you.
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Much like the eagle or centipede,
some Appleton City mothers eat their young.
This ugly baby is trying to escape but I didn't
bother helping her because she would've turned
into a mature mutant later on in life and the
last thing I need is more fleshbags walking
down the street in front of my house and playing
that loud music with the drums and horn. Next
time I hear that drum and horn music, I swear
I'm going to lay out a spike strip and blow
the tires of the car so I can barge in and take
their cassette record and cram it in between
a couple of their ribs.
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