Livingroom Avenger leaps into action and tries
to defend his territory from ol' Cliffy. Too bad
I know what his secret weakness is: repeated blows
to the skull with a sledgehammer. There wasn't
jack shit worth stealing in that house, all he
had was boxes of ceramic kittens and shit, what
the fuck is up with that? And I'm not going to
even bother mentioning the trash bag full of "used"
white Kleenex's the guy had.
the living don't want her, the dead don't want
her, I don't know where the hell else this gutterflop
inflatalard jumbo boob beast can go besides the
inside of a toxic waste canister that should be
thrown into the bottom of the ocean.
the fuck...? God I hate Texas. I hate every single
thing to ever spawn in Texas and one of these
days I'm gonna get enough explosives to blow up
the border around Texas and cause it to float
into the Persian Gulf or whatever lake that is
between it and Mexico / Florida / whatever. Nothing
good has ever come from Texas and nothing good
will ever come from Texas, and if you're in Texas
right now reading my computer screen web page
site, I advice you to lick some railroad tracks
until a train swings by and carries many of your
body parts to new and exciting places. Goddamn
Banjo Lamont plays a little song for the horrid
folks in the background making out. Crazy Banjo
Lamont is a hero around here, but not because
he's done anything great. Previous Appleton City
heroes include Ben Jersey (who invented the Microwavable
Select-A-Dice), Dr. Mark Stevens (who has operated
on six people without killing any of them, the
longest record in Appleton City history), the
rotating cake display tray at Sherri's Diner,
and the lamppost in the parking lot of the 7-11
which caught fire and burned down.
PROGRAMMED MY VCR TO FELCH ON COMMAND!!!"