He is in pain because a Venus Fly Trap is eating the top of his head. Great looking teeth there you limey Brit dumptruck asscannon slopheap junk barn slot machine, now go change my oil and make me a BLT.

I saw this guy shopping at the Target they just opened on Rayson and 54th Street downtown. He was buying some girly, nancyboy crap like spaghetti or milk or water or something, so I rammed my cart into his head and shouted "OOPS, WHAT AN ACCIDENT, I'M SORRY BUDDY" and then I stuck out my hand to pretend like I wanted to help him up, but in reality I was just holding out my hand so I could pull him closer to me and drive a drillbit through his head. I never got the opportunity though because HE DIED FROM A MASSIVE STROKE.

Hey Captain Sparkle meet Captain Cookbook, the guy with an anus big enough to crap out an entire grocery list. I dont think too many toilets sparkle after this guy fills them with his turd chili.

Hey boys why is the water green? Oh it wasn't green before I jumped it? Maybe it's green now because OF MY CAVERNOUS FILTHY VAGINA.

I STOP CARS WITH MY FACE

Who the hell's this joker? Oh he's wacky! Look at him go, what with that animal on his head! I'd like to shoot a speargun into his ribcage and swing his corpse off a building while burning the building down and phoning in to the radio station to tell them how much they stink. I swear, all they do is play unlistenable crap these days. I turned on the radio yesterday at 10:43 PM and they were playing some song about love or some shit. Love! I don't want to hear no crummy songs about love. If I wanted to hear about love then I'd go pay a hooker to paint my porch. And there's no way in hell I'm doing that because the last time I paid a hooker her parrot attacked me and I had to jump out the window to defend myself and I lost my watch somewhere in the Civil War reenactment.