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84
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7-11
employee Greg Brennings displays a slight bit
of displeasure after realizing I spiked his shampoo
with Super Glue. I can only imagine the joy he
felt in his gut after realizing I spiked his Yoohoo
with drain cleaner. I also took the liberty of
stabbing the simp in the face with a broken bottle
of schnapps I found in an alleyway next to a dog's
gutted corpse. Merry Christmas, I fucking hate
you and will decorate my tree with your entrails.
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Mark
Garrison shows why nobody allows him to house-sit
anymore. One red vacuum tube and 14 pounds of
goldfish later, and the jackass is still hungry.
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I
found this thing growing on that couch I bought
at Peterson's garage sale last weekend for $2.50.
It cost me more than that for all the lighter
fluid I used to "disinfect" it.
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Man?
Woman? Halloween prank? Kitchen appliance? It
doesn't matter to my steel-lined combat boot.
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Riding
on the short bus is free, but you have to watch
Tommy Henderson count the number of Big Macs he
had for breakfast.
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West
Appleton's number one rated show: "Look What
I Flushed!"
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