pizza business I own with two other people has been doing
very poorly for the last year. We want to disband our
partnership within the month and close up shop. All the
partners are still on good terms, but the business has
some outstanding debts and the creditors are demanding
immediate payment. What are our options for declaring
this I like!
bankruptcy code allows a partnership to file for bankruptcy.
It can seek a liquidation of the business under Chapter
7, or a reorganization under Chapter 11. I assume from your
question that you would be seeking to liquidate the business
since you mentioned your plans to disband the partnership.
even though the partnership can file for bankruptcy, it
might not solve your problems. I would recommend filing
under the little-known Chapter 97, also known as the "Hey
I'm a Dummy and I Can't Even Run A Crappy Pizza Place"
bankruptcy clause. It's for dummies like yourself who, either
due to gross mental incompetence or the inability to carry
a single thought through their horribly damaged network
of misfiring cranial neurons, have dug their way into debt.
Under this rule, you may shut down your failed little pizza
joint and sell it to the government in exchange for instant
debt relief. The government, in order to generate money
to pay off your bills, will turn your restaurant into one
of the two following ideas which are sure to make money:
A Starbucks coffee house. You will have to work outside,
asking for spare change in order to help provide extra revenue.
You should wear a bunch of ratty clothes and a sign that
says "VIETNAME VETRAN! PLES HELP ME CAUSE MY WIFE
IS DEAD AND MAYBE MY KIDS ARE TO AND I JUST WANT A CUP OF
COFEE AND A BAGGEL." Feel free to have animated
conversations with various inanimate objects, although it
probably won't help you earn any more money.
2) A "Make Your Own Pottery" place. I don't know
how the hell these places stay in business, but there's
one on every block, so somebody must like making God-awful
ceramic dishes. Throw some Pokemon crap all over and voila,
instant hit. Have you seen those new Pokemon? One of them
is like a big ladybug and I think it's name is something
along the lines of "Ladybugga". It reminds me
of the stuff I saw after I drank the puddle of coffee I
found in the bus stop's ashtray.
what the heck was talking about. Oh yeah, one time I sued
a water park for a client who had lost her bathing suit
while going down one of their waterslides. The unique thing
about this case was that when she got to the end of the
waterslide and noticed her bathsuit was gone, she realized
SHE HAD A PENIS! There was no warning of potential gender
changes in the amusement park anywhere! We settled out of
court for 20 feet of pneumatic tubing and a six-pack of
a general contractor who specializes in building home
additions. I have a client who is enjoying her new addition
but refuses to pay per our contract. Over the past six
months, Iíve tried asking my client for payment, but Iíve
been put off each time. How do I put a lien on my clientís
is indeed a very tricky situation. As a contractor, you
have a right to place a lien on the property you have furnished
with labor and materials. However, based on the information
you provided, I am afraid that it is probably too late for
you to file a lien notice in this case. The law requires
that a notice of lien be filed no later than 90 days after
you have ceased to furnish labor, professional services,
materials or equipment to the project. Since you said that
you have been trying to get paid for six months, I assume
that time period has expired.
a client with a problem just like yours. She was not able
to put a lien on her client's house because she forgot to
ask for payment until 47 years later. By that point, the
client had died and her spoiled kids had moved into the
home. I instructed my client, who I shall call "Mrs.
Cathy Johnson" to keep anybody from knowing her real
name is Karen Monroe, to hide a bunch of tape recorders
inside the house. Every night, at exactly midnight, she
would make the tape recorders start playing ghost sounds
and the following message:
this is your dead mother! Whoooo! I never liked any of
you stupid kids. You're all failures. I will haunt you
until the day you die. Whooooo!"
advised her to spike the water with LSD so the illusion
would be compete. Soon enough, all those stupid kids were
freaked out and afraid to set foot in the house. Now you
may be asking how "Mrs. Cathy Johnson" was able
to collect any of the money owed to her thanks to this.
Simple: we kidnapped her kids and sold them in the white
slave trade! I find that the "Ghost and White Slave
Trade" tactic works in about 98% of lien cases. The
other 2% can be solved by applying a generous amount of
rubber cement and letting it sit in a cool room overnight.
One time I was using the restroom at the Sizzler and I thought
Hitler was in the stall next to me! I zipped up my pants
and opened his stall door, but it wasn't Hitler. It was
Mussolini. Then we conquered Poland. That happened last
that's all the time I have for today. If you want, you may
email me at
your convenience. I will answer any legal questions you
have, assuming my fingers don't suddenly grow to the size
of telephone poles, keeping me from being able to type coherently.
Hey, it could happen, I've been getting a LOT of
chalk in my diet lately.