The Fuckstick Avenger snaps into action and prepares to save the city from absolutely any trace of intelligence whatsoever. If you're wondering what happened to the 12 beers that were in that box, I stole them and threw em into a dumpster because light beer is for sissies and draft dodgers and college fratboy wusswagons.

Gordon Andresson shows up early for his own funeral. Sorry, tubs-o-spuds, but there ain't gonna be no all you can eat buffet for your dirtbag relatives and their 80-inch wide black holes of mouths.

Dr. Weeble Wobble and Hagbag show off their finest wedding clothing. Welcome to NASCAR county, you goddamn slackjawed gutterfucks.

A young Sally Jessie Rafael demonstrates the closest she's ever going to get to a penis. I hate her show. It's always full of these damned moron kids talking shit to their fat, crying parents. I want to grab those little dumb shits and choke some sense into them while rolling their parents into the nearest incinerator. One time I was watching that show and a commercial for tampon came on and I was like "what the fuck?!?!? TAMPONS?!?!?"

Chip meets dip. And no, I'm not talking about that can of man-extract that the mutant pictured to the left is holding.

"RRRAAAAOOOOORRRRWWW!!! Bring it on, you pale drunken slob! ROOOOWWWWRWRRRR!"