by JEFF K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okey, look, i have once againe gottan exclusive intartviews with big fameous gameing industry people!!!! today I haev Charlie Weider, and he maeks maps for Duke Nukam 4: Duke Nukam Forevar! i dont know if he si bettar than Crispan Antcow tho. i guess well see whenevar Duke 4 comes out, HUH???

Charlie was vary rude at times, but he si undar a lot of pressare I think, so dont be hard on him. plus he didant answar any of my questians, so maeybe he is just a jerk. BUT thats okey becuase Duke Nukam looks to be teh feelgood experience of 2000 (or whatever year it comes out)!!!



Wieder: Howdy. That's how we say hi in Texas. I see your skillz got you here. Took you long enough. :)

JEFFK: I WAS DOWNLOADEING SHAREWAREZ from teh intarnet, informateion suparhighway

Wieder: You have to pay for those once you finish them if you want more

JEFFK: oh not me, i use lunix. lunix is open sores. open sores MEANS = FREE

ARE YUO READEY fro teh intarview mistar?

Wieder: I'm ready as long as you don't show me your open sores.

JEFFK: OH OKEY FUNNY JOKE MAN! here goes teh intarview:

1) Okey, who are yuo and what do yuo do?!?

Wieder: I'm Charlie and I look for pictures of Natalie Portman and Britney Spears. George makes me make maps from time to time though, so I guess I'm a map maker too.

JEFFK: I used too maek maps for Duke Nukam 3D, I made "bllodbath bloodhouse" and "strippar massacar" and "DISCO HELL KILELR" are yuors as good as those?

Wieder: Better. You get all your inspiration from me so yours of course will never match mine.

JEFFK: I HAVENT evan seen yuor maps before! DONT PULL this on me, i can break yuo like twigs beneath my shins, I am mighty!!! Can yuo makes explodeing walls?!? I can!!!

Wieder: In which game would you like me to make exploding walls in? I can show you my maps with exploding walls someday, but I think it would make you stop mapping forever and ever.

JEFFK: QUESTION 3: si yuor new engine bettar than teh Build engine?!? Dose it have auto-aim so I can shots teh pig cops in teh top buildings (I DONT use teh mouse too play, I use all keyboared, that is l33t)

Wieder: Who told you there were Pig Cops in our new game?

JEFFK: I HAEV INDUSTRY CONTACTS. i met George Brussard at Arbys he tolds me about it

Wieder: We'll just have to see about these contacts, they are obviously lying to you. Autoaim isn't something we are concerned with yet but you never know.

JEFFK: si it bettar than teh BUild engine?!?

Wieder: It makes the Build engine look like Zork. You played Zork before?

JEFFK: was that liek Wakcy wheels?

Wieder: Exactly like Wacky Wheels. Just without the racing. Or the gophers.

JEFFK: oh yes, i beat it then

Yuo know, if yuo read teh contract yuo haev too sign for to use teh Unreal Engine contract, it says in tiny pring "YUO MUST USE LOTS OF PRITTY COLARED LIGHTS EVEARYWHERE OR ELSE YUO CANT USE OUR NEATO ENGINE". are yuo useing a lots of colared lights liek red and green and blue?!?

Wieder: We signed the "other" version of the contract. Our version of the engine doesn't come with colored lights, so we get to use it cheaper.

JEFFK: Whats about weapons? My favorite gun was teh shrink0r gun, are yuo going to haev that? Yuo know, teh Micorwave gun was stupid in Duke #d, whoevar made that should be shot.

Wieder: The shrinker is back of course and is cooler than ever. The Microwave gun was put in to see who would like it so we could call them stupid and make fun of them. I'm suprised you didn't like it. ;)

JEFFK: OH, my clever man insult detectore detects INSULTS FROM CHARLIE!!! OH NO, WHAT DO I DO NOW, I AM CRUSHED BY INSULTS?!?!?

What about Duke Burgar? Is there Dukebarger in Duke 4D? anbd holoduke too?

Wieder: Duke owns like, the entire world in his version of the universe, so Duke Burger will be seen somewhere. Would you eat at Duke Burger if it existed in real life?

JEFFK: there is a Duke burgar in California, i passed it onsce

Wieder: I'm going to place a Holoduke on the other side of the room so you'll go talk to it instead. That way I can avoid answering your Holoduke question.


I saws screenshots of teh aliens in Duke 4D and they looked like gray sperm!!! Are they all gray sperm or are some diffarant liek teh big aliens in Duke #D? Are there cyclopes?

Wieder: There are cyclopses in Everquest, so that means there will probably be Cyclopses in DNF. I don't know what they look like in 4D though.

JEFFK: can yuo camp??? i hope not!

Wieder: We have a trigger that kills all campers in Duke.

JEFFK: that si good, campars is suck

How manys weapon's are theres? Will teh guns maek people kill each othar in real life like Kernal Grossman says? I HOPE NOT, I DONT WANTS TOO BE SHOTS THANK YUO MISTAR CHARLIE WEEDER FOR NOT LETTING ME DIE FROM YUOR SMARTY MAN GAEM PLZ

Wieder: Can't tell you how many guns there will be. If you manage to find a shrink ray I encourage you to go shrink Mr. Grossman, but don't squish him.

JEFFK: WHY??? i will keep it secrat and print it on my intarview in small text

relly small


Wieder: Because if I told you then I wouldn't be dodging your questions. And then I would have to kill you.