Tin foil hats - keeps the government out, and your manly lust in.

Hmmmm, the third one seems to be missing from this picture. I think it's out scaring the Billy Goats Gruff or eating children on top of the bridge.

Whenever I'm bored, I just find a Star Track geek convention and go there and say I'm selling collectable Captain Kirk plates from my van. Then when the freaks like Richard Foley follow me out to my van, I break a lamp over their ugly face, take their wallet, and dump their bodies into a trash can where some homeless wino will find them and use them as a roof next time it rains. They're better off that way, trust me.

The conductor of the South Appleton Man Train.

I'LL GIVE YOU A BOX OF CHOCOLATES IF YOU KILL ME!!!

Watching Ted Baines perform live is one of the "feel good" moments of the year. For example, it feels good to grab that moron's head and shove it into the kiddie wading pool full of blue toilet disks.