HELLO! WELCOEM TO A NOTHER ARTICAL BY TEH INTARNETS SWEET HORNET JEFF K!!!
I am back aftar a lengthy hiatus in teh gulag haha just kidding I was workeing a lot in teh meantime with a retard you mightave heard of him his name's Jerry. we work are woreking at teh grocery store on 132nd street IT'S FULL OF OLD PEOPAL WHO REEK OF TEH ROTTEING STENTCH OF DEATH!!! Evary tiem I coem home from wrok I haev to take 20 showears just to erase my memmories of pain. BUT THEY NEVAR FADE FROM MY SKULL!
Anyways Jerry and I are wroking as utility men at teh grocery store and let me tell yuo the insudtry si not all its cracked up to be! I have to push a lot of carts around liek a mule slug and my boss is a real class A ideot. His name is Mr. Jennings and he coaches womens softball, hahahahah women!!! I think he is caught stealing garbage hoses. I WOULDANT BE SURPSIED YOU KNOW. Jerry and I push shoping carts around and were supposed to bring them inside but we just push them into a swamp and listen to teh song "OWNER OF A LONELY HEART" by 80s superstar band Yes. I get paid miniumum wage but my dad said I am building charactar! who knows what that means I guess it means I am getting a lot of experiance points?!?!?!? what a dad-------- my dad teh fool
but I have been palaying a lot of games on my PC because consoules are thigns for morons liek segway scootars and ipods and here is why:
PALAYSTATIAN 2 - HELLO UGLY!!! evary game looks like big blocks maed of fat ugly dots teh colar of failure! if I wanted to see a really ugly game liek this I'd dress Jerry up in teh Pac Mac costume and shove him into an early grave AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA JUST KIDDING YYUO CANT SHOVE JERRY ANYWHERE BECUASE THATS LIEK PUSHING A LARGE MOON. anyways palayingstation 2 is all ugley games and has nothing fun on it except mayeb when you put a DVD in it of somebodey playing a NES for hours. wait yuo can play Grand Thefy Auto on it and I liek that game because its liek living 50 Cents life! tru thugs 4evar shot a cop drop some dope beates in my hood homie hahahahah a rap
XBOX - I dont buy microsoft products becuase Bill Gates stole open source from Linux Torvalds and its a mononoploy. plus its big and black and teh only person here who lieks big and balack things hear is Jerry's mom (she drinks a lot of coffee! gross!!!)
GAMECUBE - evary game has mario in it and I hate mario!!! its for children. MARIO CATCHES A GHOST! MARIO DRIVES A CAR TO DELIVER GROCERIES! MARIO PLUCKS A STRING FROM THIS MAN'S NOSTRIL! MARIO SAVES A FERRET FROM THE HARSH WORLD OF TEH MINOR LEAGUE BASKETBALL COMBINE! I hate mario.
GAMECUBE DS - THIS SYSTAM IS AWSOME NOW I CAN FINALLY PALAY MARIO GAMES ON A TINYER SCREEN! THANK YOU MODARN TECHNOLOGY FOR SUCH LEAPS AND BOUNDS of faith!!! also it coems with a pen and yuo can write love letters to Jodie Foster on teh screen and send them to teh president or soemthing wft why do I want to do taht/ There si also a game called "nintendo dogs" and you pay soembody $30 to pet a fake dog for 50 hours until your arms cramp up and explaode. hey why dont I send Nintendo $50 and maeybe they will let me cut there grasss for a month wwowowowow what a slam ball of a deal thanks Japan for yuor fagotry.
SNOY PLAYSTATION PSP - Ive always wanted too watch Spidar Man 2 on a 3 inch screen thanks Sony for makeing my dreams come true. ITS LIEK WATCHING MOVIES ON A BIG TV EXCEPT INSTEAD OF A BIG TV ITS A SMALL TV!!! REVOLUTIONARY!!! SOMEBODY PLEAS CALL CONDOLISA RICE AND RECOMMEND SONY FOR A NATIONAL PRIZE!!! PLEAS REBUY ALL YUOR DVDS SO YUO CAN WATCH THEM ON SNOY'S CRAPOVISIAN TV SET FOR TINY MEN
hear are some funny consoule jokes to tell your friends but be sure to say JEFF K WROTE THIS JOKE becuase I copyrighted the hell out of them so dont try to steal anything from hear or else I'll pound yuo back to teh mommy's jowels
CONSOLE JOKE #1 -
Q: what do yuo call somebody who plays teh nintendo gamecube
A: YOUr INFANT SON AND / OR DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!
CONSOLE JOEK #2 -
Q: what do yuo call somebody who palays the Microsoft Xbob?
CONSOLE JOKE #3 -
Q: MARIO SUNSHINE
A: (taht is teh whole joke)
ehehe look at him gooooooo
okay enough of this tomfoolery it si now tiem for me to review teh hotteiest games for yuor PC (personal computar) this year teh year 2005 teh year of the dragorn!!! I have palayed all these games in larage quantities so I know waht I'm talkeing about so dont bothar pointing out anything evar!!! ONTO PAGE 2
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