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PAGE
209
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I
call this man SHITHEAD
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This
is why photos should be illegal. Or the Inter-web.
At least it will strengthen my petition for mandatory
abortions in this Godforsaken hellhole town.
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HAG
IN
COLOR!
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Appleton
City recycles its mutants. I prefer shoving glass
bottle shards down their throats and using them
as bloody piñatas. One time I saw a fucking
pirate ship following me down the road in my rear
view mirror, but every time I turned around to
look at it, it turned into a Dairy Queen and it
kept fucking doing that until I fell asleep and
woke up in the back of a police van wearing nothing
but elbow pads. I hate pirate ships and I hate
Dairy Queen and I hate you.
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I hate life.
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The only woman this greasy marshmallow
ever touched was his mom, and that was only
after she gave birth to him and then opted for
the cyanide-capsule pregnancy recovery program.
I have a strong feeling that this shovel-eyed
vegetable enjoys ham buffets.
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