When Goths Attack! Stop drop and roll like Taylor Bernings demonstrates here.

Alvin Mendoza shows off his ability to break all laws of physics. For example, his picture is taken inside the closet, yet I'm 100% sure this flaming idiot has already come out of the closet.

Mark Irvine tries to convince children to take part in his "complimentary ass rub salon" shortly before the Police came and beat in his skull like a rotting melon. Good for them.

Oh no! Catastrophe on the dance floor! All the moronic ravers get their retarded jewelry tangled up and turn into one gigantic mass of negative intelligence! I think I despise ravers even more than goths, and that's saying a LOT.

Officer Chunky commandeers a motorcycle so he can haul his huge ass to Sizzler. It's like two of the world's largest pork superpowers joined into one.

When I was driving to see Sam Waterston talk at the local VFW, this blob of crap landed on my hood. I can only imagine what the bird that crapped this out ate for breakfast.