Melvin Wilson ascends from his underground cesspit
every two weeks to rummage through my garbage
cans and pick out any old food, beer cans, or
used condoms he can find. I once chased this doughy
tick for something like 17 miles with my shotgun,
he was zig zagging all over the place and I was
shooting round after round at him, but I don't
think I ever hit him because I probably would've
smelled fresh ham if I did. I accidentally gunned
down a few human bags of white trash along the
way, but I think most everybody in this town has
built up an immunity to getting shot by me because
the fuckers never die. At least that was my excuse
when the cops were asking why I was unloading
a few rounds at the Girl Scout troop that was
trying to scam me out of my hard earned $3.00.
I always wanted to be a chiropractor and swindle
morons out of their hard-earned cash by breaking
their spine, I decided to home school myself by
watching an episode of "ER" and thereby
mastering the chiropractic art or whatever the
fuck you call it. Here's one of my latest patients,
who we'll call "Joe Smith" because his
name is actually Ben Robinson but wanted to remain
anonymous after people saw this picture and began
asking where exactly his other foot was located.
Before Joe Smith came into my office / mall parking
lot, he was complaining of chronic head pain around
the area I stabbed him with the screwdriver. I
gave him a free skeletal adjustment session and
deducted the money from his wallet and ATM card.
If you want a free consultation, feel tree to
come up to me and breath in my direction. That
will be the signal.
NO, WACKY FRIENDS PUT BOTTLE CAPS AND CIGARETTES
ON A PASSED OUT FLESHY FOOTBALL, OH HOW CRAZY,
MAYBE NEXT THING THEY'LL PUT HIS HAND IN A BUCKET
OF WARM WATER AND THEN EJACULATE ON HIS FACE!
WHEN WILL THE HUMOR EVER STOP?!?
horny Watermelon Man. Before the stroke, he used
to sell tires down in Lake Meatshore Square. Now
he eats watermelon and rapes things. A lot.
think I took this photo from a post-apocalyptic
wasteland where mutants roam the plains like some
really flaming version of Mad Max. They play that
shitty music that sounds like electronic disco
crap, the music that goes BOOM chick BOOM chick
BOOM chick, although it does match the sound of
BOOM chick I make when shooting and reloading
my shotgun at these pathetic abominations. God
I hate these multicolored shitsticks. I'd pour
Drano in their Kool-Aid, but they probably already
snort Drano and wouldn't feel shit.
Jorblaski loves seeing the Viagra ads in 3D!