MAP: Lets see, we've got two shitty "forts"
occupying what appears to be a flooded YMCA gym with
some sort of crappy
monument to bad mapmaking and general stupidity
located in the center. It also looks as though SilverPhoenix
wasn't sure which style of awful, garish lighting he
wanted to use in the forts so he decided to use them
SURPRISE!!! It's actually made out of EXPLOSIVE
arsenal in "Co-op" is pretty much limited
to the crossbow, which is definitely the weapon of choice
for gunning down your opponents while they stand stationary
in the middle of the map, mesmerized by the
mysterious shrine of spike-induced blindness. In
the unlikely event that you ever get tired of repeatedly
using the same lame-ass weapon weapon, you can always
venture into the secret underwater room and pick up
some laser tripmines. The downside is that the vile
red lighting in said room will probably give you nightmares
and more or less destroy your will to live but hey,
that's why they're called "tradeoffs", right?
Hmmm. Now this may just be the large amount of painkillers
I administered myself immediately after playing this
map talking, but shouldn't Team Fortress style maps
be made for... oh, I don't know.... TEAM FORTRESS MODE!?!?!?!
Not that making this monstrosity a TFC map would've
improved the gameplay much but at least it would've
reduced the chances of me ever conceivably running into
it since I rarely play the aforementioned mod. It just
seems like a pointless waste of valuable time that I
could otherwise spend experiencing new and exciting
forms of pain like "Co-op"!
FACTOR: Nothing says "fun" like a large
crate that, when shot, explodes and kills everyone in
the map. Granted, instant death via Exploding Prefab
Crate of Doom is a pretty lousy way to go, but
it's much better than having to wait for the map's lighting
to give you a fatal brain hemorrhage. Hell, that could
take a good 30 seconds!
BOTTOM LINE: Well, I could end this review with
some sort of sarcastic comment / fairly obvious observation,
but I think I'll just die and leave a deformed, glowing
red corpse instead. Goodnight folks!
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece
of shit you'll ever play).