This is not my jury summons!
Can you figure out which clickbait headlines are a gross parody of journalism itself, and which are fake?
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
A reluctant family is forced to welcome a non-human participant to Thanksgiving dinner.
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
Gotta imprison and psychologically torture 'em all!
You may think apps are cool, but there is actually something way cooler going on at General Electric.
+ Competently designed core mechanic copied over from a previously successful game, so let's be real, this is already at least getting an 8
Even when you picked up too many laser guns, so many that you could barely move and then spent five minutes carefully discarding individual pieces of garbage from your pockets -- all while I fought our enemies with little hope of survival -- you showed phenomenal fortitude.
I knew it was environmental storytelling because there was a skeleton next to a thing.
From "Ghost Lawyer" to "Whus' All Dis' Den," here's a preview of 2016's hottest Netflix Original Series.
Jihadi John has passed away at the young age of 27. He touched the lives of many and his loss will be deeply felt.
At the risk of burning some very important bridges, allow me to share my list of the awards that I should have received for my unique talents, but didn't.
Your finger is on the table. It's usually on your hand.
See them here first before they make it to the field.
Stabbing someone in the back? No honor. Stabbing someone in the front? Hella honor.
Who among the 2016 presidential candidates has the biggest flag? Who has the smallest? These are the questions that demand answers.
Are you leading a class or book club discussion on Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, aka the book of the dead? Here are 13 prompts to get things rolling.
From now on, you're going to do exactly what I say, and only what I say. I am the only one here who knows what we're up against. We're on the razor's edge here, inches away from the King Frog Scenario. In case you idiots failed Soup History 101, that's what brought down so many of the greats.
As Downton Abbey nears the conclusion of its sixth and final season, it's the perfect time to celebrate this landmark show. With so many characters and so many tremendous changes throughout the epic storyline spanning the years 1912- 1925, it's difficult to choose a handful of favorite moments, but I've done my best.
Won't you consider whitelisting us? We promise: no more Santa porno ads!
If your head has been steaming trying to come up with a last minute Halloween outfit, let us ease that pressure with these great costumes.
Demented child killers: they're just like you and me.
Welcome to Assassin's Creed: SUBTITLE. You are a snarky, flippant young person. Soon TRAGIC EVENT happens. Now you are a snarky, flippant young person with MOTIVATION. Here, take some wrist knives and this hood.
Your costume is is the Halloween equivalent of a CSI rerun on TNT.
'My children are dead! Damn you, Hotel For Dogs!'
All I wanted was a comedy show. What I got was an attack on my child and our family.
Please enjoy this dignified, respectful tribute to the famous 9/11 boondoggle of aught 1.
Best thing I've ever done was buy a set of these and set them up in place of our old TV. Now my family and I spend two solid hours of prime time every night looking them over from across the living room. We're having a lot more fun and best of all...no more arguing over the remote!
Here's where Bernie & Hillary stand, in one convenient, lie-packed meme.
If you're not playing fantasy football, but your friends or coworkers are in a league, you are enduring the single worst thing a human can survive: the fantasy football conversation. We're here to help.
One neighbor's Halloween decorations may hit a little too close to home.
The hardest part of finding a new dungeon master is wading through thousands of applications. Will this D&D group choose the drone pilot, professional athlete, skeleton warrior, or Wolf Blitzer?
Sometimes it’s helpful to explain your allergies, other times you just need to apologize for sneezing on someone’s face.
Jim & Karen's wedding is gonna be a blast! Here's some hints you aren't invited.
Doctor Ben Carson, Popeye's survivor, has some advice about school shootings, terrorists on airplanes, chopping malls, and more perilous scenarios.
With all these great tats, it's safe to say I'm the most unique person on earth. Which sounds great, until you realize how lonely it is.
Is the world ready for Staind By Me, St@nd By e-Me, and Crank 3: Stand By Me?
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
Find out how to protect you and your loved ones with convenient tips about nature's slowest and most uncommon killer.
Below you will find actual posts from video game message boards. Can you figure out which games they're talking about? Take a guess then hover your mouse over each post to see the correct answer. If you can't hover a mouse cursor over each post because you''re on a tablet or phone, eat a rotten butt.
Time to let your pimples bubble and swell under your beard like some acne Machu Picchu.
Reddit's /r/writingprompts covers what redditors truly care about: time travel, Harry Potter, Batman & Hitler.
Sinners are an easy target and one that is already suffering in squalor. Aim higher. Punch up.
SNAKE: [faint sound of Kiefer Sutherland being paid per word] OK
It's been a painful month thus far for Shaggy Butte's steadfast sippers. While a few fountains have shown great promise, such as the VFW Hall's new fountain, many are pumping out plenty of disappointment. Unless you've simply gotta try 'em all, keep your thirst away from these certified diarrhea hydrants.