Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
The good news is the republican convention is over. The bad news is if I can escape this police car how do I anull a marriage??
Take a look at Hollywood's brightest stars who won't be allowed to shine at this year's RNC.
On Children of Men: "I did not see it. However, I have seen the thirty thousand tubs of Sour Patch Kids that it paid for. They are... sour."
A complete assessment to all the terrible toys you've bought thus far.
This is your wake up call, Utica Pokémon Go Facebook Guild: Valor.
Will we continue to live in fear of the Mindfreaking or will we demand magicians break their Code?
In Permanent Midnight, Jerry Stahl's heroin addiction alienates his friends and wife. I don't have any friends or a significant other, so I figured that for someone like me, drug abuse would have the opposite effect and make me popular.
Millions of people are wandering around paying more attention to the Pokemon on their phones than their surroundings. I am the very first person in the world to suggest that this blending of reality and fantasy in Pokemon Go will lead to disaster.
Was all the controversy worth it? Huh? Was it? Huh?
In these tough times, America can be united over how much former congressman Joe Walsh sucks.
One man's journey to help the disenfranchised voice their complaints with some civility.
A cellphone seems to go off at exactly 1:52 in The Clash’s 1982 single “Rock the Casbah.” Why?
Last night, the final Prairie Home Companion aired. I haven't heard it yet, but here's exactly what happened.
Boats! They're great. But what should we name them? Let's find out...
We clear up the BREXIT for confused Americans wondering why the global economy is collapsing this time.
BEEP! BOOP! ZAP! Video games aren't for my dad anymore! Because he's dead.
I know these angles are wrong, but they feel so right.
Undeniable proof that you need to upgrade now.
Martians are wiping out Mankind and bringing equality to London with their heat ray.
Am I boring you? Does the flesh-rending, bone-splintering brutality of the Fight Palace put you to sleep? In the arena, a moment can mean the difference between life and death, but clearly a moment of your time is too much to ask.
11:30AM - Rumpus Men Kevin and Jeremy prove anything is possible when they turn a cemetery into a beautiful rumpus room just in time for a wedding.
Ten years ago I buried a capsule in my E3 hole. It's a good hole. The capsule contained two items: My predictions for E3 2016 inked upon a weathered scroll, and an iPod Mini with just one song on its drive, Ignition (remix).
Blow your problems AWAY with...THE GUN®!
Levi covers the end to the Sanders campaign and Bobby Brown's claims he had sex with a ghost.
It's every father's worst nightmare: A growing boy without a healthy appetite.
As I'm out and about, the first thing people notice when they glance my way is the enormous four ton weight atop my broken body. I get it. We are, by our very nature, superficial creatures.
A complete breakdown of why you're assigned to sit where you are.
Because if you watch these movies in the wrong order you might EXPLODE!
The year is 2077. Anthony Bourdain is looking for the best street food or high cuisine on the neon-drenched cyber streets of the world.
This collection of sponsored links is presented by the Feather Wallpaper Council.
I'm Ray Parker Jr, and it's time I came clean.
It is 2016. I think it is high time that Captain America have a dog man as a boyfriend.
A brave pop culture addict puts his foot down once and for all.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Levi Johnston heads down to Las Vegas and ends up causing a little trouble at the Democratic delegate convention.
The moment I step inside Planet Fitness, I feel completely at home. No prying eyes staring at me, judging me, like they do on the street. It's almost like that horrible, regrettable incident never happened.
May has been a trying month for Shaggy Butte's resident fountain fanatics. Drought restrictions have resulted in many popular fountains running dry, and penny-pinching businesses have cut back on fountain upkeep. In the end, many once-promising bubblers are now serving up some truly sour sips.
Hi guys. Uh. CoolSubBoxOpener here with, uh, a whopper of a video. Today the postman *pause* arrived with a whole bunch of boxes. Like half of my box subscriptions came in all at once today. Uh. So let's get to it!
Guys, I think my niece hates me.
In a world where the rules no longer apply, one man is here to be sure a trans person isn't trying to pee near our children.
A child President could be more than our country could handle.