You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Internet bullies have been ganging up on Assassin's Creed: Unity, claiming it's full of glitches. You might have seen a few screenshots that looked a little weird out of context.
America's voice of scientific reason goes on a twitter tirade over the scientific accuracy of the possessed doll film Annabelle.
We have curated a garden full of superior vegetables for you this rooftop growing season.
After nearly 25 years on the air, and recent pairings with Family Guy and Futurama, The Simpsons are getting ready to crossover with an unlikely group: themselves.
People don't tend to think much about their choice of [product associated with brand], so even the smallest thing can stick in someone's head and influence their choice. If someone wants to eat pizza, they're going to make their choice based on... let's say... which pizza is funniest. Oooh, the funny pizza, let's buy the funny pizza, from on-line!
Buy one pilot lesson, get all the refried beans you can hold in your hands for the duration of the lesson free!
Temperature down 10 degrees, calorie count up 10,000.
The time-honored art of creeps using lines to pick up women at clubs is not for the thoughtful.
Sure, he made us forget he exists, but when you remember him you will realize he has done so much more.
Sometimes I'd get bullied while driving the driver's ed car. The guy behind me would give me a wet willy so hard that his finger would poke through my eardrum and into my skull, damaging the part of my brain that processed depth and time.
There ain't nobody tough enough to make Stone Cold Steve Austin eat his veggies! No one in that damn locker room. No one in this whole damn arena. No on in the entire damn universe has the muscles to open my mouth and make me chew on a damn broccoli.
Paying your respects isn't the only use for your F key at a military funeral. Impress your friends with these interactive tricks in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare.
Take an exclusive look inside the new Terminator: Genisys film that has the Internet buzzing.
This isn't about harassment. It's about ethics in cat journalism.
A cared for collection of second long subversive kinks found in Hollywood releases, saved forever in 240p.
The world's most popular battery review site can host some fairly spirited debate about batteries.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Call of Duty Advanced Warfare promises to up the ante on Kevin Spacey's face in a video game.
Take a journey to the haunted end of the uncanny valley with these terrifying and just plain terrible youtube videos for children.
The hermit crab of retail shares his business secrets.
As an aspiring pro gamer [with many industry ties], I've been working on my own competitive Super Smash Bros strategy, which accounts for spacing, matchup, meta, combo, all that sort of good stuff. If you study my guide and keep your eyes on the prize, you just might be able to hold your own in December, when the Wii U version is released!
To fully comprehend the separation between the have and have-nots in the ALCS and the NLCS, we must compare to realms beyond baseball.
Naming a baby is hard, so take it easy and use one of these twenty popular baby names. We give you the whole story behind each one.
The dreams and aspirations of all mankind can unite to lift about two dozen rich people into the heavens.
Howard the Wolf Man and I had a little Airbnb mishap with a human. She ran to the police and long story short, Howard and I got arrested. We convinced them it was all a joke, so they let me go, but then they ran Howard’s prints and got a match from the crime scene back when he shot Masked Slasher. The bail is super huge you guys, please help! ASAP!
Dogspotting is the act of assigning points to the dogs you see in your daily travels, and it's the world's fastest growing sport. Orthodox Rules make dogspotting even more fun and challenging with additional bonuses, penalties and multipliers.
Look at this asshole.
Did you know Bill Gates caused Ebola? No? That's because you're not letting the Internet keep you informed about the dangers of this dreaded illness.
Was Google+ getting crowded? Want to reconnect with the two people on Facebok who were talking about Ello? Our manifesto will change the way you view social networks.
A broadcasting legend pleads with the world of the living.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Tomorrow's tech headlines you never want to see, before you have to see them.
Tonight airs the big crossover of stew and bart! See these exclusive screenshots!
If you're heading somewhere in a convoy, you can probably use these lesser known trucker songs.
Hear the man out. His ideas for stopping ISIS feature more action figure potential than any other plan to date.
Cons: Have to leave camp to steal batteries, sometimes catch a glimpse of my reflection in spatula and recoil at the terrible thing I've become. Very difficult to receive packages at my current location.
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
The first time "fast", "decisive", and "efficient" could have been used to describe the Minecraft development team was when they snatched the $2.5 billion dollar check out of Microsoft's sweaty, shaking hand.
Paleo guru and definite non-idiot Luke K. clears the air about some of your favorite pumpkin treats this holiday season. Also he weighs in on the controversy surrounding a paleo wedding cake.
One wizard thinks our President's magic control initiatives have gone too far.