Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Harry Potter and friends are returning in a new trilogy of films. Get your wizard hats ready and find out who will be back and which fan favorites may be introduced to the screen.
Witness what the jet-setting life of TV's Carrie Bradshaw would be like when set against the depressing reality of modern publishing.
In Deus Ex some people get implants to jump higher, punch through walls, or crawl through air ducts with superhuman finesse, while others use their augs to mindlessly walk back and forth along a set path in downtown Future Detroit without deviating or getting tired.
Your number one resource for all types of summer tan lines.
Terrible attendance and negative press have SeaWorld going on the offensive with an advertisement about their whales.
Useful information on how to display, handle, and properly dispose of the flags of the Confederacy.
NOW STREAMING: Something with A Sexy Lady on the Cover, But It's About Human Trafficking, You Creep
I just became aware of this Alice Cooper creep. Apparently this clown is putting on some kind of rock show over at the arena. I don't care for him, his music, his appearance, his attitude or any part of his act. It's disgusting. As of today, he's banned from the premises.
Now Tablet Mode recognizes and responds to touchscreen inputs! From one finger only. And not the finger you're thinking of.
First Tim Hunt comes in here wearing no lab coat and just a sweater vest and button down, then he expects us to concentrate on labeling specimens. As if!
First Kyle Smith explained why women can't understand Goodfellas, now he has an explanation for why women can't wrap their female brains around Robocop.
Let Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush give you his unique interpretation of some literary classics.
Hey. Hey. Hey. I call for a pick up. Hey. You hit the brakes on your jeep and back up. I don't move. Hey. Hey. I need a ride. Hey. Hey. You honk the horn. I don't move.
With the addition of Apple Music on the horizon, Spotify's new changes are certain to make the free service more profitable.
We are begging you: keep watching! Whether or not you watch Game of Thrones means everything to us.
Elliot told us the legend of Grout Man, a ghostly being who used his psychic powers to make teenagers steal grout and bring it to his mansion in the woods. He then made them grout the tiles on his patio for all eternity.
A fitting tribute to Crabnar, our Lord and Savior from the Briny Depths below. I shall pray always to this altar, and make sacrifices worthy of His Succulence.
Geralt breaks his ankles when he steps down from a height of more than three inches. If he were to hop over a waist-high fence his body would reach terminal velocity, exploding into paste and white stubble when it came into contact with the soft grass on the other side.
The controversial new massacre video game Hatred is finally available. Find out what drove the nameless protagonist over the edge.
What is the world searching for when it wants porn? The stats will blow your mind.
it's hard to shake the feeling that I've always got five stars in this Grand Theft Auto known as life.
Now, inexplicably, season three is looming over us like some sort of dome. Season one's plot asked whether or not the town could get out from under the dome. Apparently the answer was "no". Season two asked "I guess we're really stuck, huh?" and the answer was "yup".
With an average of 40 IPAs added every day, it can be difficult to taste them all
Apparently you do want to be lonely, because you defied the one rule of Farmers Only.
We've found some cool stuff in the woods. Now it's time for you to pinkie swear you won't tell mom and dad.
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
As a service to underpaid Slate.com freelancers, SA has compiled a list of ‘clickworthy’ headlines that are sure to stop Facebook users mid-scroll. Because who has time to think of a think piece?
If there is one quality all men in art share, it's male privilege. And they can't even believe how much of it they have.
As much as modern ladies strive for total equality, they cannot escape the inherent truth of their biology.
If you were alive in the '90s, you'd know Blues can Travel to the top of the charts--but did you know it could Travel right into your Heart?
Here's an important story that real news sites have been covering: Joss Whedon got kicked off and BANNED from Twitter recently because of a ruthless cadre of trolls who said shit fuck about his big leather titty sarcasm teen girl secret agent from the latest joss whedon movie or tv show or whatever.
Make sure that the half-baked, last minute gift you bring to the next wedding isn't misinterpreted!
The Minecraft Patriot stands up for the First Amendment with a devastating free speech broadside on ISIS.
The band Tool goes to traffic court to argue, using diagrams, photographic evidence, and alt metal expanded consciousness, that they could not see a No Parking sign and therefore should not have to pay a parking ticket.
The Kill List MFA Program grants a terminal (no pun intended) degree in writing lists of targets for the U.S. government to extrajudicially murder. The online program meets twice a year to workshop the students' lists.
Now with the sun and the warmth and the generally pleasant atmosphere, you can no longer blame the weather for why you've spent the last sixteen hours sitting inside. You'll need to stay on your toes if you want to stay in your chair.
This tuna ain't working, bro, and this gross hot dog needs a one way trip to go live on your uncle's Flavor Farm.
These millennials have no idea how it feels to really work. They would never think about spending all day in the hot sun with their carapace baking and their dung drying out.
Learn how one man ended injustice forever with a single speech.
In which we are introduced to several Chewbaccas, including You're About To Drink From The Exposed Inner Surface Of My Skull And I Couldn't Be Happier Chewbacca.
Important information on the most populous animal on earth and perhaps the universe.
You may have thought that a long dead author who was basically terrified of black people would be bad at the dozens. And you'd be right.