Donald Trump is constantly being compared to infamous political figures and villains from movies. Finally, the correct comparison is here.
Now that Bob Dylan has won the Nobel Prize in literature, hopefully these other great musicians will win the award in the future.
By the time I finished inflating this thing, I was too tired to use it. This is just like real dates. Women wear you down making you jump through so many hoops, then you are simply too exhausted and sad to continue. The pump should be free.
Wow, so many drink shops to choose from!
President-elect Trump needs to make some tough choices about the swords his key advisers will wield.
Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner: A literal Nazi.
Which was your favorite stand up special of 2016: "Trigger Warning: No Participation Trophies" or "Sheesh, When Did Everyone Get So Sensitive"?
Just because your teeth are made of Wolverine’s adamantium doesn't mean that anyone cares.
A comprehensive review of the latest game in the Pokémon series. STORE or TOSS? Read on to find out!
I've got terrible news for you idiots. You're all going to lose your jobs. Your children are going to starve and die slowly in front of your eyes. Your whole world is going to end. If half of you make it through the day without committing suicide, I'd be shocked.
My write-in president's gonna make a monkey outta you!
We have all the excellent beers for you to begrudgingly choke down!
In any given day you are required to think about several things, if not dozens of things. How can that happen when every synapse is dedicated to processing the reality of our garbage world again and again, as if running it all through your mental calculator will uncover a different result?
This is the first Dishonored 2 review on the internet. How do I know that? It's not out until Friday. Bethesda is no longer providing the press with review codes ahead of release. Heck, I don't even have the game.
Don't go to the polls today without consulting our guide for voters who pretty much want to die.
Oh, man, I am cramping up right now. I can't use the wooden poop box. There has to be an elevator hidden in the back of the general store.
Surveying the horrors of nuclear annihilation, I realize the hubris of my species and the grand indifference of the universe. But I have to admit, a lot of these horrors would make great band names.
One of the secondary characters in Twister is portrayed by eight actors. This role is Indecipherable Shouting Person, a mix of the chorus from Shakespearean plays and a hooting idiot.
Levi and Don Jr convince Eric the movie Annabelle is real and make him drink his own urine. Plus Tiffany Trump is downgraded to the Trump plane's cargo hold.
Ensure your little ones are safe and relatively poison-free with the following tips designed to keep them healthy, outside of their teeth and blood sugar levels.
Oh, you idiot. Don't do this. It's the worst idea anyone has ever had. Have you forgotten what an ordeal it was the last time you moved?
This is Sid Meier's world, I’m just building wonders in it.
The Magic of Toys Will Shut Up Your Child!
Angry and hopeless Trump voters take heart: there is a man who is out for justice for America.
People can't stop talking about this Donald Trump character. He's said a lot of crude and hateful things over the years, and demonstrated a tremendous lack of judgment, discipline and decency. If you ask me, he's not fit to be our president. In fact, he's not even fit to be mayor of Buffoontown.
No silkier pelt nor softer voice can be found above or below the roots. Gentle Creature is the leader we need.
Your local Halloween Superstore is back in town, bringing with it quality products and a plea for sanity from its proprietor.
My clothes surround my body. A bright yellow jacket of flexible plastic surrounds my layers of clothing. The areas of my skin covered by clothing and jacket are as they always are, more or less. My hands are exposed. My neck, face, and head are exposed. I feel water and wind upon all of this skin.
A complete guide to every type of apple you'll find on the orchard.
The clowns are coming and these candidates aren't the heroes we want, or the ones we need, or even heroes, but they're what we have.
Office cubicles look a lot like a maze, if you arrange them into a maze and forget that in a maze you have to walk around, not just sit in a chair and browse Facebook all day.
The king of deadpan absurdism ain't no angel
Everything dies...especially beloved cartoon characters!
The internet is causing individuals to become more insular, seeking out only those who agree and shutting out alternative viewpoints. All my friends agree.
Sir Mix-a-Lot's classic follow up to "Baby Got Back" has serious unintended consequences.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
If you still have any difficulty transitioning to chip readers, please refer to the FAQ compiled from average user reactions.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?