And you thought women had one-dimensional script intros that treated them like sex objects. Ewoks have it even worse.
No one seems to like the new Doom box art. But it's still the same old Doom Guy under that space marine helmet. Right?
happy valentine day if thas cool k?
Anton Chekhov's famous gun rule is not being followed by some lazy screen writers for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Something Awful reviews the latest indie sensation that everyone says is good so of course it is.
As you know, we're continually changing Something Awful to be on the cutting edge of exactly what the internet wants. "Relevance and clicks", that's our motto. Please tell us what to do next by taking a few minutes to fill out this brief reader survey.
Someday you'll go to bed at a normal time. Not tonight though.
(Although this assumes that any reddit writing prompts are good.)
You won't believe what these annoying millennials said when they heard David Bowie had died.
The store is empty, funereal, a museum exhibit on twenty-first-century fashion. Mannequins stand vigil over untouched merchandise, staring at me like the bust of Ozymandias. If there were teens in this place, they left long ago.
It was love at first sight when I first glimpsed the Parisian Poodle Serving Table, which seemed the perfect complement to my home. Unfortunately, that very same home was taken from me when the tunnels I was digging underneath collapsed, causing the entire structure to be condemned.
If you thought "Here's what it would look like if Brady and Manning switched teams" was mind-blowing, wait until you see this garbage.
You're welcome, rich people.
What is a CD-ROM? A platter that fits in the palm of your hand, made of space age polymers and reflective aluminum so thin you could lay it on a sheet of paper then lay another sheet of paper on top of it.
Top rated guide to help you get back to work!
(It's like the Dow Jones Index, but for dads.)
If you are sick of all the yelling and bigotry in politics, the gentle creature that came out of the cellar and quietly wants to be president might just be the candidate for you!
Nice dress. What is this, a dress convention? Idiot.
Blood is thicker than drugs...or is it?
Otaku Obama thanks Japan for anime and manga. Will our next president continue to hand this country over to the Japanese or will they build the dang wall?
Please grant me the permission to be unfunny on purpose so I can celebrate 10 years of trying to be funny on purpose.
In the finale of the second season, Dexter finds out there will be several more seasons. (See also: Sons of Anarchy)
The heartfelt result of combining cancer stories with video games.
Turning epitaphs into epic laffs!
Sometimes it feels like you live on a street of bad habits and everyone around you is trying to sabotage your efforts at self improvement.
Legendary musician/harbinger of doom the Plague Piper appears on VH1 Storytellers to share the inspiration behind some of his most popular songs.
TONIGHT'S EPISODE: The Real Victim Here Is Cops
Everyone thinks they have the world's dumbest boss, but mine really takes the cake!
NO DOnald! It's not over. This Christmas Jeb! is just getting started.
Santa struggles to keep up with a changing world.
A muscle cyborg was bunny-hopping sideways near some lava and grunting. I had a super shotgun in my hands. I will never forgive myself for what transpired next.
For the next few months, your life ramped up the difficulty setting.
Merry Christmas, from the Snow Toilet!
Hopeful fans are consumed with worry about the new Star Wars movie. Allow J.J. Abrams to put those fears, and all others, to rest.
Cut to - Kirk and Spock standing on the bridge of the enterprise. Kirk smirks roguishly. “You know what we have to do, right?” Spock responds. “We have to go…” Both of them finish the thought simultaneously: “BEYOND.” They fist bump.
WHAT a RIPOFF!!!!! You can get the same effect by smiling at the sun for a few hours every day, which is what I do. Guess what, bucko? The Sun is 100% free, delivered to your front door every day.
Thanks to its hugely successful Kickstarter, Mystery Science Theater 3000 is coming back in a big way, and the pool of talent working on the show keeps expanding. Here are some folks who joined the production in the five minutes that passed since you last checked.
There's a Star Wars movie coming out??
As we confront the darkness of the American zeitgeist, we should turn to a true example of tolerance: the toilet ghoulie.
Even predatory lenders know the reason for the season.
If I can't believe every word on Apple's website, where the heck am I going to get my world news?
Every major has their own preference on how to crack under the pressure.
Last night, President Obama gave a powerful address from the Oval Office. But what if a bee had flown in?
With heavily armed and armored jihadis and maniacs invading our public spaces, there is only one clear path to self-defense.
Many reviewers feel the new album of Kurt Cobain's home recordings violates the dead musician’s privacy. But what if Kurt Cobain is really spying on us?
This is not my jury summons!
Can you figure out which clickbait headlines are a gross parody of journalism itself, and which are fake?