MAP: A long string of crappy metaphors interspersed
with cursing is the only thing that comes to mind
when trying to describe this repulsive, fucked-up
carnival of attempted Half-Life mapping gone
horribly wrong. "MCW2" is made up of a
few hundred mutilated brushes crammed together in
ways I didn't even know were physically possible.
Not only does the author have some mutant strain
of ADD that forces him to completely switch texture
sets every few rooms, but he also took the time
to make sure that every single fucking surface
and texture in the map is in some way misaligned.
Folks, we could be looking at the reincarnation
here. Well, Erik may not actually be dead yet,
but all that fast living is bound to catch up with
him sooner or later.
brushwork in this thing is so bad that it should
be illegal. I mean, just what the fuck is this
deformed, monolithic object supposed to be?!?
The mangled frame of a power boat? A cross section
of Marlon Brando's liver? The result of a failed
government experiment to create some sort of genetically
altered "super brush"? I have no fucking
clue. It's probably one of those things we just
weren't meant to know, kinda like how big the universe
is, or in Michael Johnston's case, how to make a
map that doesn't look like it was destroyed in a
rotary tool accident and then welded back together
by a blind hobo.
fellas, the HEV suit convention has been moved
to the Ramada Inn in Utica, New York.
least the lighting in "MCW2" borders on
semi-tolerable. There's some fucked-up shit going
on in the "outdoor" area involving huge
dark shadows, but since they're probably just obscuring
more unspeakable horrors, I guess I'll let it slide.
There is a generous amount of colored lighting
included but it's
all located in the void outside of the map.
Yes, it would appear as though "MCW2"'s
vacuum of stupidity is so powerful that it actually
pulls in awful lighting from other nearby Half-Life
maps. It's a veritable black hole of unrelenting
The layout is terrible, the item placement is beyond
comprehension, and the framerates rival Michael's
IQ. You'd have to be a superhero to deathmatch in
FACTOR: If you experience any fun here you're
probably playing the wrong map, but then again if
you're playing "the wrong map" there's
a good chance that you are playing "MCW2".
I guess that's a paradox or some shit like that.
BOTTOM LINE: I dunno, maybe this map is just
ahead of its time. Maybe five billion years from
now when the sun begins its death cycle by incinerating
the Earth and other nearby planets, mankind will
finally appreciate "MCW2"'s finer qualities.
Fortunately, I don't think I'll ever live to see
that day. Hell, I probably won't even live to see
next week if I have to play any more freakshows
like this one.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece
of shit you'll ever play).